Live With These Words

Goodbye Wishes

             I set a flower down on the railing as I overlooked the water myself. I couldn't help but laugh, siblings really do think alike huh? The water sloshed around crashing into one another while the sun began to set. "You know, I feel the creativity was lacking with you on this one. I mean of all the ways you could have gone, why not shoot fireworks into the sky? Strap dynamite to your body? Jumping off a bridge seems cliche." My throat felt dry, I had been crying since I listened to the recording. His words had led me here, the last place to see him thrive. I clicked the recording once again the let it loop through just to hear him. 'Hey sis, how surprised were you? Hopefully you got the talk you desired with Mother, I know she can be rough around the edges but I believe she will at least listen to you one time now that I am gone. Facing the new reality is quite a scary thing, eh? It's weird really, knowing in a couple hours from now I won't be alive anymore. Knowing this recording will be the last thing to trace my voice, it's a bit poetic, right? I guess I'll get straight to my point now, after all that's what you've been dying to know. This was my final way of saying goodbye in the most me way I could think of. Games with a hint of mystery, how good did I do? It was no surprise to me that my sickness would begin to shorten the joys of life. I spent every waking moment with you the second I found out I was dying, which was years ago. I only had 3 months left anyways, I knew I would have to leave you soon so I wanted to leave some of me behind with you. I wanted to love you to the best of my ability because the only person I will be able to love in this lifetime is YOU. I wanted to laugh with you till I can't breathe before I really won't have another breath in me. I wanted to cry with you till tears can no longer form in my eyes. In this lifetime, you were my best friend, you were one of my only friends and it hurt me to know I would leave you behind. I knew I couldn't leave you a single note to explain everything in the event it fell into the wrong hands. I'm glad you figured me out, thank you. The note you have will now explain everything into words my dear little sister. Why I had to take the eight thousand like some mad man to hire info-brokers to do my dirty digging work. Why I even got involved in those shady gangs, have you met Carson yet? Hopefully not, I purposely tried to avoid speaking about you to them. Did you end up choosing Levian or Blake? You could probably choose neither of them and just force them to give you money, haha. Any way's sis, you'll be coming home soon so I need to get this show on the road. If you want to come visit me, bring me an Iris, the purplish blue reminds me of those cool eyes you have that I was pretty jealous of. I'll be waiting for you at the bridge, the one we used to throw rocks into the water before we actually had a curfew. Thank you for everything, now take your rightful place as queen in your life, best of wishes, Bryce.' The recording ended leaving me feeling more hollow once again. "You know, the fact you didn't even give me a chance to cremate you as we talked about is quite annoying. Am I going to have to swim to find your body?" A single tear escaped once again as I laughed it off. "I'll visit you often Bryce, but I think I might want to buy you a gravestone, so if you are lingering here, follow me to the cemetery later. This place doesn't suit you well." I heard footsteps behind me as I wiped at my face one last time. "You ready to go?" I turned to see Levian holding his hand out to me. "Let's go." I took hold of his hand but stopped one last time to see the Iris still clinging to the railing. I flashed our hands together to the bar and smiled. "I hope this answers your question."

          We drove in the car in silence as the music was set on low volume. I glanced down at my hand that was still intertwined with Levians. "You can let go now if you want." Levian eyed my hand then took his gaze back to the road. "Okay." I waited for him to loosen his grip but he didn't. "Are you going to let go?" "You said I can let go if I want to." I raised an eyebrow as he turned to give me a smug look. "Aren't you a playboy." "Never." He teased. We got back to his house and went straight to his study. I sat on the couch while he sat at his desk like usual. The last few days had been a blur. I listened to the recording at home a few times before I could grasp back at reality once again. I wanted to run to the bridge in that instance to find Bryce standing there, waiting for me. I went to pull my door open when Levian stood across the hall, leaning on the wall waiting for me. I flinched when his figure, arms crossed, held his hand out to me. I waited for him to make a joke but instead he stepped forward. "Let's go see your brother." His words rang in my ears to this day. Butterflies bubbled within me just remembering how cool he actually looked. I looked over at him as he caught my eyes and smirked back. "Are you bored?" I quickly shook my head as he sighed. "You always said you wanted to read every single book in here, yet here you are not reading." "You have to have that urge to read in order to focus and remember it all." "Sure." Was all he responded with before returning to his work. "How's the business coming along?" "Great, my old man figured out what I was doing." I perked up as he remained calm. "He did? What did he say? Are you okay?" Levian only laughed. "He can't do much, it's too late so we have hit the bribing stage of it all." "Bribing?" Levian nodded seeming victorious. "He is on the losing side, my dear." I felt my face get warm with how he said 'my dear'. I felt like a school girl getting over one of her crushes for the first time, it felt weird. "Oh." Was all I could manage before staring down at my shoes, I felt awkward. I listened to Levian get out of his chair and walk over to me, I pretended not to notice as he stopped and leaned forward. "What are you thinking about?" I flinched as he raised an eyebrow. "You seem skiddish, why so jumpy?" I shook my head as he tilted his slightly. "It can't be..." "What?" "Theres no way..." "What? What!?" He tapped my forehead then pointed to himself. "You remembered how badly you misbehaved with me the night you drank, and now you are starting to see me for the man I really am." "We can hardly classify you as a man per say..." As the words left my lips his hand reached out and pressed into the back of the couch. He leaned in making me lean back until I couldn't fall back anymore. His free hand slid against the outside of my thigh making my heart skip beats. "Then how should I go about things?" His voice was low and husky while I felt frozen in my seat. "G-go about things?" He nodded leaning in closer just a hair away from my face. I shut my eyes as the air from a slight chuckle hit my face. He smelled of chocolate and sweets. "When did you eat something sweet?" I opened my eyes as he closed the distance between us. I felt his mouth on mine as he pushed into me, his knee separating my legs from each other. I felt his hand slide from my arm to my neck and held my jaw. He pulled away as I caught my breath, my face practically on fire. "I may have eaten the cake you brought home last night, don't yell at me." I blinked a few times. The way he didn't say 'my house' or the way he tasted just then put me in a trance. "I see my plan to distract you worked, maybe I will use it more often." "H-huh? What is that supposed to mean!? I'm not distracted at all." He smiled again showing his perfect teeth while I clamped my mouth shut. "So if I keep going it won't be a distraction for you?" "Not even a little." He leaned in once again making my stomach flip and my eyes close. I waited for his lips to touch mine when the weight suddenly shifted. "Too bad, if it was a distraction I would've considered not stopping, oh well." I watched him get up and walk over to grab his jacket. "I'm hungry so let's go eat, I kind of want carry out." I nodded slowly as he came back around to grab my hand to pull me along with him. "Did I make you fall for me yet?" He turned to peek at me as I gathered my thoughts together. "I hate you." "Sure you do." He replied.