Jim the Scrufflegrog

Chapter 1

In a time forgotten in the minds of human kind, lived a strange creature known as the Scufflegrog. Long days would pass by where the Scufflegrog, or Jim as many called him, would lazily lie basking in the warm glow provided by three purple suns gently pulsing in the summer sky. In the nights Jim would roll onto his large belly and pick the grass weevils from the plains and gorge himself clever, therefore earning another well deserved day of basking.

But as all things do, Summer would end and Spring would soon follow. It is worth mentioning at this point dear reader that the world in which Jim inhabited wasn't like our own. Seasons fell when they felt like it. Some years Spring would follow Summer, then Winter would bring up the rear leaving no room for Autumn. In fact, it is also worth noting that the inhabitants of this world didn't call their seasons Spring, Summer, Autumn or Winter, the names they used are much too long and much too difficult to spell for the purposes of this story.

　

On this world there were three suns, each with their own name and nine moons that took turns to bathe the planet in a dappled green glow. The sky was filled with carnivorous flip flops that attacked without warning to passers by. The seas were populated with hedgehogs wearing tracksuits and eating biscuits, which remained surprisingly dry considering their surroundings.

　

The lands were awash with a myriad of strange creatures with hidden agendas and not so hidden bicycles. Time was more of an idea than a reality on this planet. Calendars were left in untidy piles in village shops collecting dust and loose change for their poverty stricken families.

　

The Scufflegrog was the last of his kind. Crafted in the dawn of time by Mother Nature's step sister when the world was anew and the plains filled to the blades with grass weevils. Back then the land was heartily peppered with scufflegrogs. But as Jim rested on his bouncy castle belly, he was quite alone in his species, the last specimen of the scufflegrogs. This didn't bother Jim; he didn't mourn their loss or dwell on days past. The other scufflegrogs hadn't died out, they had either simply gone on holiday to another story or simply got lost in a particularly overgrown thicket of grass.

"Gotcha!" breathed Jim with one exclamation mark.

Uncupping his great furred paws he brought the wriggling delicacy to his mouth and gulped it down. The dawn air provided a refreshing shroud around his warm body, giving energy to his tree trunk like limbs. The faint hue smothering the fields almost seemed to give a spotlight specifically on the finest weevils for Jim. Rolling towards each illuminated treat in turn, tall patches of grass were flattened under his generous weight, thus the mistaken invention of crop circles and preventing ever a need for lawnmowers in this universe.

Hauling his frame to a sitting position, Jim looked out over the plains of Branfree, for this was the kingdom in which he dwelled. In this oblong world there were eleven kingdoms spanning the seas, land and skies. Branfree being the biggest and ruled by amphibious mammals from a throne room in its centre, mainly consisted of rolling fields, warm climates and a spoilt-for-choice menagerie of inhabitants.

In the distance Jim caught sight of a thin pillar of green smoke twisting upwards, the wisp was unaffected by the wind or even the angry old badger stood next to it shouting and brandishing a stick.

Not so suddenly a young fish wearing a ruff and hauling a long spear of sorts appeared over the crest of the nearest hill. Puffing a depleting gill of breath and sweating profusely the fish tumbled down the hills brow. Ignoring the strangeness of a fish sweating, tumbling or even wearing a ruff, Jim stood with surprisingly little effort for a being of his size and watched the fish approach with curiosity.

"This will surely be interesting" Jim mused whilst stroking his fifth chin from the bottom. "Very interesting."