Everything

Guilt

Mitsuki's point of view

Mitsuki had no intention of sleeping this night either. It was another peacful and still night but he didn't trust it. He continued to watch his Sun carefully, some might say obsessively. He had snakes stationed all around the Inn, ready to warn him if anyone suspicious was nearby. Nothing would happen to his Sun. He would see to that.

A chill wracked his body despite the night's warmth. Cold skin, dull blue eyes... It was an illusion. An illusion and nothing more, he kept reassuring himself. A simple illusion he should have seen through but he hadn't. He had ignored all the warning signs, all the inconsistencies because he was emotionally involved. He had gotten too close to Boruto and because of that he had almost died. Worse, he had almost killed him, with his own hands. Hands sworn to protect had almost extinguished the very light they so adored. Another shiver. He knew Boruto was worried about him and he just wanted to understand what had happened last night but Mitsuki just couldn't bring himself to tell him. Going through it again would just make it more real and it was already real enough.

Was this divine punishment, perhaps? Punishment for his desire for what had always been beyond his reach? Had he become greedy, starting to believe he could one day possess the object of his adoration? Boruto was so warm and beautiful. He was kind and forgiving and always considerate of Mitsuki, welcoming him to come ever closer. It had become too tempting. Boruto wanted him and Mitsuki could not refuse. It was so easy to become comfortable, to enjoy loving and dare to be loved. He was satisfied and obviously that satisfaction had become complacency.

The memories paraded again through his mind making him feel sick from self loathing. At first, he had been so relieved and happy. His sun was alive! He could shout it from the highest treetops. His Sun was alive!!! But after the euphoria had passed, he started to feel cold again. By heaven, he had almost killed Boruto. His beloved Sun was struggling for breath and it was all his fault. He had done this. Mitsuki couldn't bring himself to let go even after Boruto had recovered. Boruto had even weakly tried to bat his hands away but still he clung on, unable to let go, afraid on some level that this was the illusion.

He wouldn't let Boruto look at him. He couldn't. He wasn't worthy after what he had done. He had to protect Boruto from any danger and he would, even if that danger was himself. The best thing to do would be to leave, but Boruto had made it clear he didn't want him to go. If Mistuki left, he would just follow him again. His place was by his side and that was final. Mitsuki couldn't refuse him, he could never refuse him. But, it would be best to content himself with watching from afar once more.

Far too soon, Sarada announced that they had to move on. She had said something earlier but he had been too focused on Boruto to hear her properly. Now, she was becoming more insistent. They had to press on to the village. The forest was not safe. He had to let Boruto go now. He had to, but doing it was much harder. He knew, if he was to really keep his Sun safe, he could never hold him like this again.

Now it was twenty four hours later and his heart burned with his desire to return to his Sun, to go back to the way they had been but he couldn't. It was a necessary sacrifice to keep Boruto alive and well. Boruto sensed something was wrong and kept trying to draw him out again, but Mitsuki just smiled and watched. He had watched him all day and something wasn't right. Boruto was hiding something from him and it was worrying him. He hadn't slept well at all and something was draining away what little energy he had. As the day of investigation went on, he couldn't completely hide is haggard appearance. By the time they started back, Boruto was pale and ready to drop despite his best attempts at hiding it.

Mistuki had almost broken down in the meeting with the Innkeeper. He still didn't say anything but he was starting to close the distance with his Sun at least physically. Boruto had perked up a little bit, easing his worries some.

Mitsuki was glad that Boruto suggested they go to bed early. Finally, his Sun would be able to rest and recover. Except, he wasn't sleeping. He was twitching and fidgeting on his futon. The realization finally hit him; Boruto was in pain. He was hiding an injury! Mitsuki was dismayed that his Sun was hurting and he hadn't confided in him. He didn't understand why he would keep this from him. Boruto must have sensed his thoughts on some level because no sooner had Mitsuki had this revelation than Boruto rolled onto his side and looked at Mitsuki. His eyes widened as they met Mitsuki's.

"Boruto, you are in pain." Mitsuki said, stopping just shy of accusing. Boruto's eyes widened again but he resigned quickly.

"Can't hide anything from you."Boruto said as he flopped onto his back, wincing and hissing from pain as he did. The injury wasn't a small one. Now Mitsuki was alarmed. In a smooth singular movement, Mitsuki was up and by his side.

"It's ok, Mitsuki. It's nothing." Boruto protested. It certainly wasn't nothing! This injury was why his Sun's light was dimming. Clearly, it was more serious than Boruto wanted to admit. He could help. He would ease Boruto's suffering, even if he had to do it against his will but he hoped it wouldn't come to that.

"Please, Boruto. Let me help you." Mitsuki begged his Sun. Boruto propped himself up in defiance, wincing again at the movement. Mitsuki almost reached for him but thought better of it and waited. Boruto was starting to crack under his gaze.

"Fine." Boruto said at last. He laid back down on his futon and Mitsuki moved to his other side. Boruto lifted up his shirt and Mitsuki couldn't hold back his gasp. Dark bruises criss-crossed his chest. Mitsuki could almost see prints from the scales of his snakes marring the warm flesh. Further down his chest was a large mark, the one causing Boruto's health to fail. One of his floating ribs was more than cracked. it was broken and turned slightly inwards. The color around it was a deep plum which faded out to red at the edges. It was swollen too, testifying to neglect and Mitsuki hoped it wasn't also evidence of injured organs. He held his hands as steady as he could over the ugly injury and began to heal. He was glad that he had pressed the matter. There was no telling how bad it would have gotten. Boruto was stubborn and he had no doubt that he would drop from this injury before admitting he had it.

"This one is bad. Why didn't you say anything?" Mitsuki asked without looking at him.

"It's just a cracked rib, nothing major." Boruto replied hastily. Mitsuki resisted a sigh. He had no idea why his Sun would choose to ignore his own injuries like this. Didn't he know what he meant to others? Did he not understand just how much this world needed him? He wondered if it was because he had done this. Did Boruto not trust him anymore? Mitsuki's gut twisted to the point of agony with guilt and unanswered questions.

"I did this." He whispered to himself, the guilt overflowing through his mouth. Boruto heard him.

"Hey, don't blame yourself for this." His voice was too gentle, "You didn't know what was happening and I have a talent for being in the wrong place at the wrong time." Boruto smiled. Mitsuki did not smile back. This was not a laughing matter.

"Boruto, I almost killed you." Boruto fell silent and Mitsuki refocused on his healing. Boruto really was a mystery. Every time Mitsuki caused him pain, he would convince himself that he was really the one to blame. It made no sense.

"Hey, Mitsuki?" Boruto asked nervously. Mitsuki nodded but said nothing. "What happened back there, last night?"