Sexy Jess

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(a/n) i don't totally love this, but let me know what you guys think! sorry the update took so horribly long, i just started a class and started a new job so things have been busy. i'll try to be better about updating regularly! thanks for reading!


Jess was the kind of girl who normally woke up energized and ready to go, if a little bleary eyed, but today was on a whole different level. She had karate chopped the snooze button with a spirited "hi-ya!" before American Authors had had a chance to tell her how this morning would turn into the best day of her life. In fact, she probably would have gotten it turned off much sooner if her attempted ninja flips hadn't ended with her hopelessly tangled in her lavender colored sheets.

When she had bested the sheet monster and got her feet on her bedroom floor, her "Empowered Women" playlist was already bopping and her glasses sat askew on her nose. On any other day, she would be listening to her music through her headphones because the guys had strictly prohibited her music on the account that it was "testosterone sucking" and "honestly disappointing, Jess, and this is coming from a proud feminist with a penis." Quotes courtesy of Schmidt. Today was different though. Today, the other guys were out, and it was just her and Nick. And that didn't do anything to her insides, no sirree. But it did mean she could play her bomb playlist because Nick would never complain about it. He made the occasional face, but Jess had a sneaking suspicion that the face was only to keep up appearances for the guys, and secretly, Nick didn't really mind her music. That also didn't do anything for her. Nothing at all.

On an average gym day it took Jess three songs to be dressed and heading to the kitchen, but today the second song had barely gotten through the first verse by the time she was dancing out her bedroom door and straight into good ol' Nick Miller.

"Jeepers, Nicholas," she yelped as her nose smashed straight into his chest, "Watch where you're going!"

She looked up at his face with eyes watering from the sting of the impact and noted that Nick had yet to step away from her.

"Oh God, sorry Jess! Are you ok? I wasn't paying attention, I'm still half asleep. I can't remember the last time I was up this early. Are you crying? Oh come on, did I really hit you that hard."

Jess did her best to roll her eyes, but it really just resulted in an affectionate smirk. Typical Nick, swinging, like a pendulum rebelling against the laws of physics, between concerned fluffer and annoyed room friend.

"I'm fine, Nick, my eyes are just watering..." her sentence wandered off into some dusty corner of her brain as she registered two important details at nearly the exact same time. Firstly, Nick was seemed to be standing even closer to her than before and his large man hand had somehow found it's way to her shoulder. But this was no "ello there good pal" shoulder pat, no sirree, this was more of a thumb stroking, gentle cradling, shoulder rub that made Jess want to lean into his touch. Secondly, and perhaps this should be moved to first place, her nose was bleeding. Everywhere.

Nick's eyes snapped away from hers and his hand was suddenly gone from her shoulder and she only had a moment to miss its warmth before she decided perhaps she should focus on the large amounts of blood currently gushing from her face holes.

Nick herded her into the bathroom mumbling something about this experience being a great inspiration for his zombie book and how he was still "so sorry Jessica, but DAMN you bleed a lot" and Jess finally had enough and had to kick him out of the bathroom when he attempted to use a white bath towel to wipe up instead of paper towels. Schmidt would have had a fit. 

When she had finally convinced Nick to go put on his gym clothes ("NOT jeans Nick and NOT a flannel") and the bleeding had finally slowed to just a trickle, she bent over the sink, set her hands on the edge and let the shock of cold porcelain seep up into her bones and distract her from the injustices of the world. Namely, Nick Miller. And also world hunger, poverty, and racism, but right now she was focused on Nick Miller. Perhaps, Cece was right. Maybe it was time to embrace the naughty butterflies instead of just trying to shove them back into their little cocoons. Maybe it was time for...no...she had sworn she would never bring this version of herself back...but the way Nick looked at her even when she had bodily fluid gushing out of her nose orifices...Cece was right. It was time to let the naughty butterflies fly.

It was time. Time for Sexy Jess. Or as Cece called her, Terribly Awkward Jess, and sometimes, Oh God I Can't Even Watch This Is So Bad Jess. But no matter what Cece said, Sexy Jess is how she met Spencer. And lost Spencer, but that is besides the point. Ol' lumberjack Nick Miller would be no match for Sexy Jess. She would just get it out of her system and they could go back to being friends and all the awkward tension would be gone. Sexy Jess could do no feelings. Sexy Jess could pound one out and forget all about it. This was definitely the time to summon Sexy Jess. And luckily, the gym was the perfect place to do it.

Jess whipped her gaze away from the rusty drain and locked onto the orbs of blue staring at her from the mirror.

"Go time" she whispered.

She sauntered back to her room (Normal Jess prances, Sexy Jess is better than that) and stripped out of her blood soaked clothes. The blood dribbles gave her the perfect excuse to put on the workout clothes that Cece had bought her when they spotted a cute guy at the gym. She had never ended up getting past the front door though because Schmidt rattled off four jar-worthy statements right in a row and she decided that she'd rather not be wearing those clothes in public if those were the thoughts she was provoking. But Sexy Jess lived  to provoke those thoughts. So Jess put on the see through racer back tank-top with a low neckline leaving little to the imagination, and a pair of light pink leggings that hugged the goods just a bit more than she was used to.

She felt like one of those women who led the super intense video workouts and never broke a sweat. She grinned at that. Those seemed like girls that Nick would like.

She swung open her door, somewhat more cautiously this time, and strut into the kitchen.


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