Aiyana

Farewell

I don't remember much of the day after the ball because I spent the most part of it sleeping and the rest of it regretting.

The times when I was awake I tried to think of anything else but that but nobody knew better than I what an enemy one's mind can be.

Why would I kiss him? Oh why? Why? Why?!!
Mayhap it was a spur of a moment thing but I still couldn't get my mind around it.
I'm sure I think of him as just a friend. A very handsome one but still, a friend.
I have been sure of this since I've met him but the kiss sure did complicate things. Damn the female hormones and my inner romantic. If the bracelet hadn't been that beautiful and his face not that innocent and my dress not so Shakespearean and the surrounding not that befitting.....

I was in need of some girl talk but I couldn't talk to Christine about it without having to explain to her why I hadn't told her anything about him at all. And so I decided on my next best option.

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'And so I kissed him. But it's no big deal right? People kiss all the time in the novels" I said

"Yeah you just kissed the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on, in the most beautiful possible scenario but it's no big deal." Replied Elias, ever so sarcastic.

I gently pushed him to show my annoyance but I couldn't help but agree. It was a pretty big deal. At least for me.

"Well in my opinion and experience,a kiss is a big deal if you want it to be. I could kiss you and it would mean nothing because my heart won't be in it. Do you get what I'm saying?" Spoke Elias as we both walked through garden adjoining his father's stables.

I thought about it. I did like him but did I like him like him?

Elias waited for me to respond as his eyes caught something. On my wrist. I was still wearing the bracelet.

"That is one masterpiece on your hand. As an artist my self, I can't help but admire this. Tess, I don't know about you but that beautiful boy really likes you. So whatever you say to him, be kind."

"I'm AlWAYS kind. Also, speaking of your artistry, when do you leave for Sorbonne?" I inquired.

"Tomorrow morning. I'm really going to miss you, you wild animal." He sighed

"And I you, you cannibal." It was an inside joke.
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All of us gathered around Miss Stacy's living room. The ball was our graduation party but today was our farewell.

I sat in between Christine and Ella , William with Gilbert and Elias,Robert with Isaac and Joseph and Josephine with Evelyn and Marlene. Like we had a countless times in our never ending get togethers and mischievous get aways. These moments never felt like they were numbered but now it dawned upon us that they were.

Even as Christine, William,Josephine,Ella and I were going to University of London, Elias was going to Sorbonne in France and Gilbert and Robert were going to stay in New York. As much as I had yearned for college all these years, the separation was too hard to bear, even if it meant getting to stay away from Evelyn.

"Students. For over 12 years we have studied together, fought the authorities together, cleared exams together and even though you have left me out of some of your mischievous activities, I am glad that you accepted me as one of your own. I cannot express in words how proud I'm of each of you. Seeing you grow into such wonderful individuals, braving your fears and insecurities, nothing makes me happier than this. Yet even as my journey with you ends here, you all have a long one ahead of you and honestly, I can't promise that it will be all flowery and rosy. No, it will be rocky and tiring and infuriating at times but remember to never stop trying. My friend from India once recited to me a beautiful phrase 'Himmat karne waalo kee kabhi haar nahi hoti' -"Those who never give up and always stay strong never lose their battles". So stay strong. Now I'm done making you all sappy.
Everybody raise your glasses- this one to my batch of 1896. Cheers."

All of us, with tears in our eyes rose our glasses, looking around as if to capture everything about this moment which was soon about to become just a small memory of a very momentous life ahead of us.

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"I am leaving tomorrow." I said

"I know". He replied, his eyes never leaving the floor.

"I won't be coming back much often. England is quite far you know".

"I know."

"Hakan can you please say something apart from those two words?"

"What am I supposed to say? Have a safe trip? Try not to forget me?" He charged.

"I DONT KNOW BUT WHY DONT YOU SEE I'M LEAVING AND DO YOU REALLY WANT OUR LAST CONVERSATION FOR A LONG WHILE TO BE THIS? WE HAVENT EVEN SPOKEN ABOUT THE KISSING BIT YET!" I could hold it back anymore.

"What is there to say? You kissed me and now you're leaving."

"I will come back, you know."

"But you will meet so many White not so horrible people in London." He looked so dejected.

"Yeah but they will not replace my not white very very mean but very sweet friend ,Hakan." I smiled

"We're still good though? When you didn't meet me for days after the kiss I thought-"

"That I regretted it? I don't know. But I do know that I would never regret becoming your friend."

We had been walking for a while now and had reached our destination. The tree. Beautiful as it always was, in all its glory. We climbed it up, as high as we could and sat on different branches, gazing the sky.

"What if I gave you a 'something to remember me by kiss' Aiyana?" he asked.

"Then I would push you down the tree."

"Why?" He asked, laughing.

"Because it is stupid of you to think I'd need something as small as a kiss to remember you by."
He stared at me for a small while and then smiled to himself as we sat there, quietly, taking in the beautiful flowers around us, an eternal blossom, Aiyana.

Hey! I got super sentimental writing this. I don't know, something about farewell make me sad. So what do you guys think? Will they ever meet again? Or is the last time we hear somebody call her Aiyana?