The Cat and the Hat x Dirty Hoe

The cat and the hat jumps over the fence and scampers towards his secret. His favorite secret: that dirty hoe. " mmmmmh you look so sexy with- ugh- with that dirt" he moans. " I bet you're really good at- mommy gardening" he runs his gloved claw against your metal base. You moan, " CAT!!! w-wait what about s-sally" the cat continues his actions with a look in his eyes, " I left her. All for you, you dirty hoe" you feel tears prick at your eyes, you feel so happy. " now, baby. Let's plant" You moan loudly in anticipation, "Ahh L-lets get out of here" the cat stops rubbing you and glares softly while whispering, " I want the whole world to hear us, hoeing my garden" He yanks you and runs, paw in wooden hadle, towards the cats thingamajiger. You tense up in excitement, you just cannot wait for what's to come. As he pulls up to his house he holds you in his white and black furry arms, so warm, so soft you could almost moan. He drags you against the soil, you moan loudly " C-cat not so rough!" But cat does not stop, he only goes faster, it hurts. You feel yourself about to break, "W-w-wait cat!" You tried to warn him but you snap in half. You scream out in pain " Shut up, we're not done yet! I'll fix you later" his rough manly voice sounds out. He throws you with his other tools, just like you. Used and broken all in the shed. The tool shed. 

Years have passed and you have not felt his wonderful white whiskers in years. He hurt you, abused you, yet you love him. Suddenly you feel the suns warm gaze upon you. The door, its open! " C-cat is that you?" You questioned yet he did not reply. He grabbed your two broken halves and shoved you into his warm striped hat. There you are wrapped up. In sticky duck tape, it hurts, it burns. Fishy stank fishy stank. All you do is cry, wishing for his warm soft paws. Then out of no where you are back into his fluffy warms, "oh! Cat how have I missed you!" He does not reply, there is a coldness into his used to bountiful eyes. He slammed you onto a table where other used tool are too. You are in a yard sale, how could he! Eventually all the tools are gone and replaced when money all except you. Cat glares at you, " of course you're still here. You know-" he grabs your tapped up handle- " garbage belongs in the garbage" he yells in pure anger. He throws you into the trash. You shouldn't miss him but that's all you do. All your days consist of your empty tears, all for your cat in the hat.