Survival

15. Another Side

 "It's safer for you this way, do you understand?"

The little girl's eyes welled up with tears. Her pain was torture, heartbreaking. But, oh god, Liam was so tired. As much as he wanted to take care of his best friend's little sister, it wasn't physically possible anymore. Stephanie would not understand, Liam was sure, if she was even still alive.

Stubbornly Alexei shook her head, the tears flying from her face. She made the motion definitive as only an Armstrong could. Both girls had always been that way.

"Listen to me," he repeated.

He held her by the shoulders, having crouched down to her height to look her in the eye. An eight year old should not be so hard to part with. Why couldn't she see? Her age was misleading: she understood much more than people double her age. Alexei knew pain and loss.

She also knew that she was making both worse for Liam.

It was only the quiver in her lip reminded Liam of how truly young she was.

"I'm not going," she answered.

Liam suddenly felt very old. The will and energy in his bones dissipated, leaving him defeated and resigned. "I have to keep you safe, okay? I promised, didn't I?"

Tearfully, she nodded, her eyes squeezed shut.

"That's what I'm doing."

A small whimper wrenched out of the little girl's chest. Liam had to mask the twisting in his own chest.

"I promise you, Alexei. Have I ever broken a promise to you?"

Her tears hadn't slowed, but she hesitated, opening her eyes to peer at him from under her lashes. Finally, she shook her head, trembling in his grip. The resolution that Liam had both hoped for and dreaded equally slipped into her gaze.

"That's my girl," he forced out, nodding.

It took a beat to pull himself together inside. He hated making this decision himself, for a girl that was not his sister, that he was trusted so completely with. Rising to his full height he took her little hand in his grasp and faced the person who would ensure her safety.

"You have to swear to me that she'll be safe."

The middle-aged widow nodded grimly, maternal instincts and loneliness coating her sincere eyes. Liam had no choice but to trust Alexei with a human; after all, the little girl was barely a werewolf, and wasn't one in any way that mattered.

If he had to live with a blue-lipped, shivering, and hungry eight year old for another day, it may well kill him. The guilt and worry that he'd had for her was near crippling. This burden could not be his responsibility anymore; this life was not for someone so young as her. Not anymore.

Firmly, he pried her fingers from his own and let the woman take her. Alexei kept her eyes locked on Liam, tears still coursing down her face. Liam forced himself to look away, shoving his hands in his well-worn pockets. Nodding once, he turned away, afraid that at any moment his true feelings would burst from their prison in the depths of his soul. It wouldn't help Alexei move on if she saw how torn he was.

This is the right thing to do. That thought bounced around inside his skull without effect. With a tight-lipped smile, he turned and walked away from the last piece of his past that he had left. He couldn't look back.

Couldn't.

The mist of the late night draped around him like a shroud, barely pierced by the light of the moon. The cold moisture hung on his clothes, sank right through to his bones. Hunger tightened his stomach uncomfortably, the pang that he was well used to. His hair hung in his face, unkempt and too long.