Getting to know the Admiral's wife

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Originally posted on January 2nd, 2015

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Far away, in another planet, there used to be a peaceful life. Singing birds, happy fish, relaxed sheep. That life didn't last for long. You might ask why. It is all because of robo-pirates who enslaved the planet and destroyed almost every living creature there. Their leader was called Admiral Razorbeard and was known for his fearful stare and his great army despite his low height. Whoever would make fun of his small appearance, immediately they'd be punished; no mercy would be left for them.


One day, as he was sorting his father's plans, he got really angry and grabbed the nearest lamp to throw.

"Curses over these plans! They are all out of order! The plan for the nearest planet is in the middle while the one for the farther one is at the very beginning! And at the end there has to be plan of preparing to the farthest one! Curses, curses, curses!"

He threw the lamp and it almost hit his helper - the Spyglass pirate, who had just entered the room to check out what was wrong. The poor robot almost fainted by that close call, but finally his question was spoken.

"Is everything okay here, boss?"

Admiral looked at his helper. "No, it's not! All these plans written by my father are out of order! Someone must have taken them and messed around with them!"

"That could be the new cleaner-robot. It was probably programed wrong."

"Then fix it! Otherwise I'll find out who made him and throw him to the sea!"

The Admiral full of anger sat down on his chair to calm down, while the helper started to pick up pieces of broken lamp. Razorbeard looked outside through the window. All these robots walking on the street, some of them carrying boxes, others barrels, other things which might come in handy on the journeys...

"There is nothing better than having everything that I desire and need," the proud Admiral thought to himself.

There were also robots taking the broken ones to service station, few others that had free hour from working and a robot-woman with a handbag.... wait a second! What was that?! A robot-woman?! Razorbeard couldn't believe his eyes, he tried to look away and then back, he saw something that he had never seen before.

"Come here! Quickly!" He ordered his helper. "Look at this! What is this that I'm looking at?!"

"Oh, that might be a woman, boss. Just walking on the street..."

"A woman? Here?! How tall is she?"

"I have no idea-"

"GO OUTSIDE AND FIND OUT!"

The scared Spyglass pirate immediately left the room, leaving the Admiral to wonder who that mysterious person was. He walked in a circle, scratching his head, his impatience was bigger and bigger which made him even angrier than before.

Finally after few minutes the helper was back.

"Well? Talk!"

"Admiral Razorbeard, from my spying I can tell you that the woman is under 120 centimetres tall, not even her hair reaches that point."

This information really made him happy as he himself wasn't that tall. "Excellent! I love this information!... How exactly does she look like?"

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