Where the heart lies

Chapter 19

When the ambulance arrived that night I was in such a state of shock I couldn't even answer their questions. I sat their on the floor covered in blood while someone put a blanket around me and I watched as they put my moms cold pale body in a black bag and wheel her away. At some point I ended up at the police station when a lady came in to talk to me. I don't remember much about her besides her cold hands rubbing consoling circles on my back, but she was the social worker that helped keep me from the system. She had dark brown hair, deep caramel brown eyes, and a smile that was filled with so much power you knew she had seen the worst of things all her own. If I could thank her now, I would. When the courts found out that I didn't have any other family and my biological father had told them I was almost eighteen and old enough to take care of myself, she fought tooth and nail to get the courts to let me stay with Lily and Deb. I didn't know it then but I owed her so much.

It was only weeks after my mothers death that they had finally found Gary stashed away in a hotel room. He confessed and got 25 years to life in prison. I testified, with Lily, Deb and even Jesse their to support me, confessing all of the untold truths that had happened in my home. My heart sank and my throat closed when I saw the faces of the jurors as they listened, Lily and Deb teary eyed in the benches behind the lawyers, but I'll never forget the look on Jesse's face that day. His eyes focused on me, soft and loving, he didn't look at me as if I was a victim. He looked at me as if I was a survivor. He saw my strength in my weakest moments and he drew me in. He was my anchor in those moments telling my story up there and I couldn't help the tightness in my heart and in my belly.

Lily was the one who told Jeremiah what had happened and kept him updated the entire time. He texted and called, my head wanted nothing more than to hear his voice, but my heart told me to ignore him for the time being and focus on myself. And that's what I did. It took two months after my mom's death for me to text Jeremiah.

Hey

Omg. Hi! Are u ok? Can I call u?

Sure

We ended up talking the entire night. Catching up on life and how he was getting ready to go to college at Miami Dade, discussing graduating, after and of course our relationship. Jeremiah had stayed with me through all of my silence, all of my distance, still telling me that we were together, that he wasn't going anywhere even if I needed my space. And yet when he chose Miami Dade, the farthest college from me, I felt as though his words weren't as true as he thought. I had still loved him, through everything, but there was a pit, a hollowness, in my stomach that filled with anger at him too. I wanted him to be the man who would have flown up to see me when my mom died. The man to have hugged me and been there for me to tell me everything was going to be ok. But the reality of it was that he wasn't a man yet. He was still a boy, focused on his future, his career, and he did the best he could to make sure his girlfriend was ok. He sent flowers for my moms funeral, texted and called me every day- even though I didn't respond- and checked in with Lily to make sure I was doing ok and asked if I needed anything.

Jesse on the other hand had been there with me every step of the way. He helped pack up my stuff and move it into their home. He helped Deb plan the funeral and talk to the lawyers about my mom's belongings, held my hand-figuratively and literally- through the trial but throughout everything, he never treated me with kid gloves the way everyone else did. He was still his charming self throughout it all and to be honest, it was the best distraction through it all.

I loved Jeremiah but after those two months I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel something for Jesse too. Having him stay in the same house as me made it worse and considering I was still dating Jeremiah, I had to make sure I kept my distance,which was beginning to get extremely hard.

"Boo" Jesse's deep voice hit my back and I jumped clutching the towel hugged around my naked body. "What the hell! What are you doing here? I thought I had the house to myself!" yelling I turned to face him. My eyes went wide at the view of his bare chiseled chest dripping in sweat, his loose running shorts that clung just enough to his thighs that it outlined his piece, and all of his gorgeous tattoos displayed openly for me to examine.

"Stop staring" my cheeks flushed bright red and my eyes quickly met his.

"Don't flatter yourself"

"Please. You were pretty much drooling just now. Like what you see, flower?" he grinned the smuggest grin at me and I huffed, actually huffed, like a child and spun around. I began to walk toward the guest room that had become my room but stopped halfway. His laughter made my blood boil and I stormed back to him.

Pushing his chest I yelled, "I was not drooling number one, and number two you're not my type. I have a boyfriend. And stop staring at me when I'm in a towel!"

"Funny. Does your boyfriend get you this worked up? If he did maybe you wouldn't be eyeing me up."

"You know nothing about him! And I am not eyeing you up Jesse! I can't help it if your chest is bare in front of me with a ton of artwork plastered all over it! Put some damn clothes on!"

"So you admit that you're looking at my body." the corner of his mouth inched up and he eyed me up and down. His smugness never ceased to get under my skin,

"What? No. I'm just saying that anyone would want to look at art if it's in front of them and your body clearly has a ton of it." I knew that what I had said didn't make any sense but I was trying my hardest to cover up my blatant ogling. He smiled and stepped closer to me grabbing my free hand and placing it on his sweat glistened body. I felt a shiver go down my spine and I couldn't help but relax my hand as I felt his firm muscles.

"If you wanted to look all you had to do was ask, I have no problem being naked for you." My eyes shot up to his and I coughed in an attempt to hide the sound of my rapidly beating heart. I was so thrown by his words that I didn't realize my hand still placed on his chest. Jesse grabbed it and began to trace my hand over his tattoos. A compass tattooed on left bicep with a map underneath it, it's detail was so exquisite it was if you could grab it right off of his chest. He slid my hand down to his rib, tracing over an inscription that read "And here you are, living despite it all" I felt my heart clench when I read it and my breathing hitched. The words meant so much to me but I could only imagine what had made him get those specific words inked on his body. Not giving me time to think he continued to move my hand down his body slowly, tracing every indent of his six pack abs. Goosebumps started to rise on his chest and his hand loosened around mine, it took me a minute to realize that his hand had fallen to his side and he was watching as mine still traced over his body.

I looked up through my lashes trying desperately to hide my embarrassment and watched as he slid his bottom lip between his teeth. My stomach tightened and I felt a warmth between my legs. My lips parted involuntarily and I stepped a little closer as my hand traveled farther down. I skimmed the waist band of his running shorts feeling the slight stubble of where the trail of hair from his navel to below his shorts would be. I bit my lip thinking of what laid beneath and he cupped my face in his hands. I looked into his steel blue eyes, his pupils dilated so much they almost covered the blue. His thumb slid across my bottom lip and I reached up with both of my hands to pull him closer. Before my hands met the back of his neck I felt a breeze hit my entire body and my nipples instantly hardened. Jesse's eyes flew down to my body and I instantly felt my towel pooled at my feet.

I hastily grabbed it from the floor and swung it around my body, tight. Red covered my face and I stepped away from him in horror. I practically ran down the hall to my room hearing his voice echo, "How in the hell are you still a virgin!" I slammed the door behind me and leaned up against the door sliding down to the floor. How did I let myself get into that position! He just saw me naked! Jeremiah hasn't even seen me naked! Oh God. Jeremiah! But wait.... how the hell does he know I'm a virgin!