It's not all Roses

Bizzare dreams

Zaynab

I submerge myself in Ali Sethi's songs the minute I am inside the safety of my room: yellow walls, Gaga and Halsey posters, cluttered desk, half empty bookshelf (courtesy of Asad) and messy bedsheet. Perfect.

I stagger to my bed and fall face down. What a day.
I have missed Pharmacology's lab for which I have no regrets, only pure merriment. But I didn't inform Asad and he might still be saving me a seat, grudgingly yes but saving it nonetheless.

I send him a voice note notifying that I went back home. He sends an "ok" and I chuckle at his not so subtle passive agressive tone.

I change into my pyjamas and put the phone on silent (no alarms) before drifting off, the ceiling fan whirs and the air conditioner hums. The peace lasts approximately 7 minutes before maa barges in my room.

"Zainu, wake up!" She jabs at my arm and I yelp.

"What is wrong yar, I was sleeping." I say, disturbed and irritated, a hint of migraine appearing at the back of my head.

Her hands are on her hips, eyebrows arched and an expression of disappointment, something I have become used to over the past 20 something years.

"What?" I say, sitting up.

"It's 11:30."

"We had free lec-" I start and then pause.

"Lying again?" she says, pointedly.

"it's not technically lying if you stop mid-sentence," I say knowing full well that I have angered her.

"Your father will hear about it when he comes back."

"Oh maa, sometimes you sound exactly like Draco Malfoy."

"Who?" And there, her hands are folded on her chest now and she looks puzzled. Another one of her familiar looks.

"Draco from Harry Potter," I say.

She sits on my bed, tightening her bun.
"Oh that red haired guy?"

"No no, that's Ron," I say "Draco is the blonde one."

"Are you comparing me with that old professor?"

"Oho, I am not talking about Albus Dumbledore!"

"Who?"

She gets so engrossed in Harry Potter discussion that for a moment I let myself believe that she has forgotten why she was here.
Unfortunately, that is only wishful thinking. She says I have to explain to Papa why I bunked yet another class.

With this announcement, she strolls back to her room, leaving behind an anxious mess of a daughter.

I already have been warned by college about my short attendance and I can't let Papa know that.

I think of excuses. But I am too exhausted and Talha is still gone. I don't actually believe he left because of Ayzah, but I am angry at her. I am angry at her for knowing where he is.
I make a mental note of apologising to her.
Partly because I actually feel sorry and partly because I might be seething with fury but I'd still want to know where he is.

I don't remember when I fall asleep. I dream about hookworms and pinworms in Professor Bhatti's slow honeybee voice. I dream about Talha sobbing and Ayzah consoling him. And then there's Albus Dumbledore smiling at the two of them, giving them blessings.

The voices in my head don't make sense, the images are something out of a messed up version of my weekend, but the sleep is peaceful. I am away from the heat, noise and questions. The unreal feeling that has been haunting me since Talha's call is subsiding.
His last call.

In my head somewhere, a peculiar thought is emerging. It's like an ocean creature coming out on the surface of water.

His last call.

The words echo.
But I am fast asleep and in a bizarre world, I dream.

***

Freshman Year.

"Hey, you! Come here." I yell. I am waving wildly at a bewildered Talha. He looks around to see who am I waving to before realizing it's him.

We are sitting on a grass patch near tennis court. A cool March breeze comes now and then, Asad is playing and Ayzah sits cross-legged, busy on her phone. She stops as she sees Talha approaching.

"Zaynab, what are you doing?"

"He looks harmless enough. Come on, stand up."

He approaches us cautiously. I remember his crimson framed hippie glasses, pointed nose and bewildered eyes. He looked like a tiny toad.

"Um, you were talking to me?"

"Yes. I am Zaynab Chaudhary. And you must be Taha!"

"It's Talha," he says, fidgeting, "And I know you. We are batchmates."

"Oh yeah. I thought you looked familiar, Taha or Talha what's the difference eh?" I am trying to be funny here. He doesn't seem to acknowledge that though.

"Yes, definitely. So what were you saying miss Zunaira?"

"Oh a sense of humour!" I say.
He chuckles and I remember thinking that he looks adorable.

"Hey I was on my way to Patho Lab, do you mind?" He says backing off.

"Oh not at all," I say waving my hand, "I just need a small favour."

He stops.
"And that would be?"

"You see that tall guy?" I say pointing to Asad. He's huffing and puffing, trying hard not to beat a senior at tennis.

He nods.
"Yes, Miss Zaynab, you might have met me for the first time but I have heard enough about you to know that you are planning on pulling a prank on me."

"What? Are you craz-"

"-Now if you'll excuse me."

He marches off, adjusting his stupid hippie glasses. I am standing there gaping, kind of amused at the skinny bastard.
Ayzah is doubling with laughter.

"Oh man, I like him," she says.

***

I wake up, nervous and confused.
Papa will be home in an hour and I still haven't figured out any plausible excuse.
I hop into the shower and let the cool water calm my nerves. It's of little help but I am finally coming up with something. I need a Talha related excuse, yes!
As if on cue, my phone buzzes.
I step out, wrapped in a bathrobe, and squint at the screen.

Ayzah.

"Hello, Zaynab?"

"Ayzah, I know it's not your fault," I blurt, "I don't know what I was thinking. I am sorr-"

"-We'll talk about it later," she says, "listen, is Asad at your place?"

"No, why?"

"Zaynab, please reach Asad. His phone is switched off," she is speaking fast, "We need to get to Talha before he leaves."

"What do you mean? Where is he? Ayzah I am not sure I am following you."

"Zaynab, he is leaving for Karachi tomorrow," she says.