My Internet Love (Temporarily On Hold)

Clichés suck

Am I right?

'course I am. I am always right. Perks of being a genius. I'm not being obnoxious it's just the truth. I have an IQ level of 203 therefore I have the right to state my superiority and claim the term genius.

Despite being supremely intelligent, I do enjoy reading fairy tales and romance novels. What girl doesn't? It is such a useless waste of my time, yet I do secretly long to find my happily ever after. However, anyone with half a brain cell knows it's all unlikely rubbish.

Even if people get their happily ever after then what? Oh wait the unrecorded divorce rates in stories. Take my parents for an example. Once upon a time they had their happily ever after, but life doesn't end there.

No as far back as I can recall I can remember fighting. I wouldn't bat an eye at a chair through the window or a door of the hinges. That was a standard argument; one that was easy to ignore as I focused on learning equation after equation, reading book after book or developing a whole new skill.

The worst part is I am grateful for their bad relationship because it taught me some great lessons.

1 Love is only a chemical response to ensure the reproduction of the species

2 There is no happily ever after

3 People cannot be trusted to remain a constant only sciences can

4 The only person you can truly rely on is yourself

5 You can never stop learning, no matter how clever I am there's always a new avenue I can look towards

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One morning, when I was about 15, I came down to a screaming row; but thought nothing of it as I poured milk into my bowl of rice krispies. I innocently ate my breakfast while reading a chapter from the Lord of the Rings as I heard the front door slam shut.

It wasn't until I heard the car accelerating and an ear piercing scream did I even look up from my page.

The next few hours were a blur. Mrs McBride from next door had come around to find me. She had received a call from my father, telling her everything.

By the time she had arrived I was late for school, not that it really mattered as what they taught was far below my intellect. Normally mum dropped me to school on her way to work but as she'd gone I decided I would just teach myself. It's not like I'd never done that before.

My first lesson that day was History and we were currently looking at the outbreak of the Second World War. Hence I decided to watch an online documentary on the Treaty of Versailles, because had that been presented in the way it was, then Germany wouldn't have ended up in financial crisis that lead to Hitler's rise to power. Naturally, that was a good point to start my morning study.

That was until I heard Mrs McBride calling for me. I mean how inconvenient, could she not have waited till break time? Anyway removing the boring details she sat me down with a cup of tea. I may be British but I don't like tea!

She told me how Dad was in hospital, apparently mum had run him over with the car after she spead off with him attached to the bonnet. I didn't want to believe it but the facts did seem to make sense. Cold shivers went down my spine as she continued. Mum was now in police custody. The school had been informed and I was allowed the day off given the circumstances. I would be staying with the McBrides till Dad was out of hospital. Which wasn't too bad as I could do as I pleased and one of them would drop in to check I was ok and had eaten etc.

Turns out the fight happened because Dad announced he was leaving for another woman - Sara. They are still together to this day, so maybe there is the opportunity for more than one happily ever after. Or maybe its just they haven't reached the end of their story yet. I'm 90% sure in a decade or so history will repeat itself.

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That anecdote concludes loves not all its cracked up to be. Yet I do strive to experience it. Why? I regularly ask myself but it's a question I cannot answer which is very unusual.

Then again I missed out on that other fabulous cliché. I am the geek with no friends so where is my jock boyfriend now? Oh wait that's just made up mumbo jumbo because it makes a good story, 'coz who doesn't love an underdog? But that's just not a real life story.

Welcome to my life.