tremble - saifah/zon

1

Saifah woke up slowly to a comfortable presence. In his half asleep state he snuggled closer to the other person lying in his bed, who was also blissfully unaware of their current state. Saifah didn't know where he was or who he was hugging, all he knew is that he could probably lie here forever.

Slowly he opened his eyes, to which he was faced with Zon about 2cm away from his face. They jumped apart from each other almost instantly and Zon scrambled to grab the blanket to cover himself, creating a barrier between them.

"What did you do to me?" Saifah yelled.

"No, what did you do to me?!" Zon yelled back.

Saifah looked between them, "You hugged me!"

"No, you hugged me!" Zon yelled, indignantly.

"You hugged me first!"

"No you did!"

"Oh, we were hugging each other," Saifah said. Secretly, he was just the tiniest bit happy that Zon had stayed the night in his bed but he didn't have time to unpack those thoughts now.

Saifah knew he had a crush on the other boy, but he didn't yet know how deep his feelings were for the other boy. Not to mention he was getting whiplash with the amount of mixed signals Zon gave him. One minute they were so close and he thought maybe Zon wanted him to kiss him, and the next minute he was scrambling away from him at the slightest hint of flirting.

Saifah really didn't know what was going on, to be honest.

Zon's eyes went wide and he looked down at himself, "Did you do anything else to me?"

"No, I didn't do anything to you," Saifah said. Not that he hadn't wanted to do some things to the smaller boy.

Saifah watched as Zon hung his head dejectedly next to him. He noticed the tremble in Zon's lips, "It's my first time."

Saifah was so confused. Zon started rocking back and forth, trying to control his breathing. Saifah reached out, "I just said I didn't do anything..."

"Did you use protection?" Zon said, eyes scrunched up and sobs forming in his chest, "Am I going to get pregnant?"

Saifah pushed the smaller boy off the bed, "What are you talking about?"

Saifah laughed but he noticed that Zon looked as upset as he did before. He was shaking. His face was buried in his knees and his hands scrunched in his hair. He looked like he was having trouble breathing.

"Zon..." Saifah said, trying to get the other boy's attention. Zon didn't make any sign that he had heard him. So Saifah got down off the bed and went to sit in front of the startled boy, his breathing was getting more and more erratic.

"Zon," Saifah said again, not really knowing how to help the boy, "Can I take your hands?"

Zon breathed out shakily, but nodded and loosened his grip on his hair. Saifah moved to untangle Zon's fingers from the strands of his hair and quickly took them in his own. Saifah held them gently, carefully, like they were made of glass.

Zon looked up slightly and Saifah's heart clenched at the sight of tears streaming down the other's face. He couldn't help but raise his hand to wipe the tears of Zon's cheek. Zon flinched at the contact and Saifah lowered his hand.

Zon was still hyperventilating and crying, so Saifah took both of his hands and placed them on his own shoulders. Saifah took deep breaths in, making sure Zon could feel it through his shoulders and squeezing his hands to ground him, "Zon, just try to match your breaths with mine."

After a while, Zon was matching his breathing and the tears stopped. Saifah moved to hold Zon's hands in his lap.

"Zon, I promise nothing happened between us last night, okay? We just fell asleep on our sides of the bed and must have moved closer during the night," Saifah said. Zon looked up slightly, still doubtful.

Saifah managed to help Zon, somewhat calmed down now, back onto the bed. Zon kept his distance from him, shuffling back to the headboard and clutching the blanket to his chest.

Saifah shuffled closer, "Do you trust me?" Zon just hung his head, not saying a word.

"I wouldn't do something like that. Not to anyone, but especially not to you. I don't ... I don't want anything that you don't want to give me," Saifah said genuinely, needing Zon to understand him.

"You don't want... that... with me?" Zon said, voice trembling, trying to understand.

That threw Saifah off guard.

Saifah sighed, "Zon... I'm not gonna lie and say that I don't want to be with you but... if you're uncomfortable or worried around me then, I'm okay being friends, or not friends, or enemies or whatever you want."

Zon sniffled, moving his hand to wipe his own face, "It's not that I... that I don't wan't... I'm just not ready."

Saifah smiled squeezing Zon's hand tight in his, "I'm not trying to do anything, Zon. I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable."

Zon looked up at him with those big eyes, the ones that mean that he was genuinely touched by whatever someone just said or did. Zon squeezed his hand back, "It's not your fault, I was just being stupid."

"Hey, it's not stupid," Saifah moved his hand to brush through Zon's hair in a gesture that he hoped was calming, "I crossed a line that I shouldn't have. It's okay for you to be upset."

Zon looked down again, almost guiltily, "I didn't... I didn't mind... that you hugged me. I just thought... I don't know what I was thinking. Obviously we didn't do anything. I would remember."

Saifah smiled cheekily, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy, "So you're not mad at me anymore?"

Zon frowned back at him, "I was never mad at you, idiot. I just wasn't thinking properly," Zon sighed to himself and shuffled closer into the embrace, holding the taller boy closer to him. They shuffled around until Saifah was lying against the headboard and Zon was wrapped around him, resting his head on Saifah's chest.

"And thank you... for helping me... I think I might have had a panic attack... cause I was overwhelmed."

"It's okay," Saifah said, moving his hand to cup Zon's cheek and wiping the last of the drying tears from Zon's eyes, "Do you get them often?"

Zon blinked up at him, "No, this is the first time."

Saifah stared at the smaller boy lying on his chest, for the first time this morning not knowing what to say. In the end, Zon spoke first.

"When you said before... that you wanted to be with me... what did you mean?" Zon said.

"I meant that you're very precious to me and that I want to protect you in any way that you'll let me," Saifah said, not really knowing the answer to the question himself. All Saifah knew is that he never wanted to be without Zon again.

Zon pouted, "That's not an answer. What do you want?"

Saifah thought about it for a while. "I guess it wouldn't be so bad to be your boyfriend," Saifah grinned cheekily down at him.

Zon raised his eyebrows, "Even if I'm not ready for... that... yet?"

"Zon, you could never be ready for it and it still wouldn't change the fact that you're the cutest thing I've ever seen," Saifah said and nipped the smaller boy's nose playfully.

"Why are you like this... so embarrassing..." Zon turned to bury his head in Saifah's chest to avoid his eyes, cheeks turning red. Saifah couldn't stop smiling.

...

this fic is the result of me greatly misunderstanding the saifah/zon scene in ep5 and thinking they actually had sex OOPS

get ready for me turning another light hearted scene into a hurt/comfort fest hahahaha

come party on twt! twitter.com/lesbxigu