Pain. It sucks, it hurts. But it's part of life. We often get pain by being lied to. But what about when we realize that what we feel isn't going anywhere. When we finally accept that we like someone, that we feel something. Time doesn't heal anything. It teaches us to live with pain. We all get addicted to something that takes away the pain. Whether it be cry, drugs, hooking up with someone, or anything. The thing is, if you wanna live. You have to learn how to smile through the pain.
December~
It was December. I pulled into the school happily like always, Meredith was next to me and we were laughing. She and soda had been doing really good. I knew he was going to ask her out soon. There was no way he wouldn't. They made a cute couple. As for Steve and me. Well I finally admitted to myself that I like him. We grew closer in the past months. Daniel greeted us at our daily lunch table. Daniel was a very sweet guy. He was that sort of "baddie" guy. He had all the girls wrapped around his finger. They all wanted out with him. But he wouldn't budge. He knew I hung out with Steve but he didn't know my true feelings.
The most common reason was because I had just figured myself. And also because I knew he would flip. He's not really a fan of them. The greasers I mean. Meredith was very supportive and she seemed happy for me.
"So..." Meredith said.
"Yes.." I said looking at her.
Her eyes went blank and her mouth slightly dropped.
"What?" I said. "Mer what? are you okay?" I said laughing. She didn't answer. So I simply turned to look at where she was looking.
And my mouth dropped. Probably inches. I gasped. I already felt tears coming and. God. There he was. Steve. Kissing Evie. The girl that had broken his heart a couple of months ago. I turned and rushed outside. The bell rung and people started heading to their classes. It was like I was swimming against current. When I made it outside I got in the car. I sat there. Then the door opened and Meredith sat down. "Are you okay?" She asked. I sat there.
I turned on the engine and pulled out. Driving somewhere. Anywhere. "Elena. Talk to me." She said as I got to the side of a road.
"I'm not allowed to feel this way. He's not mine. He was never mine. We were just friends. I can't feel this way." I said.
"It's okay to hurt." She said.
"You know what hurts?" I said turning to her. My throat hurt as I spoke. I had tears in my eyes and this tight knot in my throat. "It feels like I lost something and I can't find it" I said as the knot unleashed and my voice cracked. Tears began flowing.
"Because in everything I do, everything I say and everywhere I go he's there. He became someone in my life in the matter of seconds!" I said snapping my fingers. "It doesn't just mentally hurt. It physically hurts like someone is stabbing my chest. It feels like a piece of my heart was just ripped off and someone is stabbing my chest over and over and over and over again!" I said as I slammed my hands on the steering wheel. I sobbed. And not a quiet sob.
Meredith stared at me. "And it hurts to move on!" I cried.
Meredith sighed. "Letting go is the easiest part Elena. It's the moving on that's really painful. So sometimes we fight it, trying to keep things the same. Things that can't stay the same though. At some point you just have to let go, move on. Because no matter how painful it is. It's the only way we grow. And knowing is better than wondering." She said as she rubbed my back in circles. I sighed as my crying came to an end. I turned the engine back on and kept driving. I drove home.
Love. The deadliest poison on the market. It's so painful and so unexpected. We think we don't fall in love. But we can't controll that. And at the end of the day, there's no justified reason on why we can feel this way. We just do. Pain is part of the way we grow. Pain teaches us strength. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. Somebody who's not gonna complicate your life. Somebody who won't hurt you. It'll hurt every time you think of him. But over time, it will hurt less and less. And eventually you'll remember him and it will only hurt a little.
Edit: It was brought to my attention that I never put a picture of how Daniel looks like so here he is.
Daniel Esposito Age: 17 Portrayed by: Fabian Forte
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