Second Chances

So Damn Hard

A/N Sorry if this is a bit all over the place....

"it's no good Malc, I'm gonna have to rent a cargo ship to get this all the way to Switzerland" I sighed, as the puppy roamed over the papers I had strewn across my bedroom carpet. "but then again, Switzerland isn't even coastal. My God, I need to learn about where I'm going to live!" I sighed, feeling exasperated by myself and my surroundings. 

I'd been home almost a week, and ashamedly I had been putting off all this packing and going through all my old shit, to see friends and family instead. That was more important though. Obviously. "I can't believe that even before I leave the country Mum and Dad bought you" I laughed, grabbing the little Pup and snuggling him close to me. "Even if I had flown the nest 10 years ago, they still could have waited" I rolled my eyes as I spoke. "still, you are a cutie, and they need something to fill all their spare time don't they. And it might stop Mum from wanting to bury Dad under the patio once in a while huh" I giggled before setting him back down. "you are making me want to succumb to Kimi and get a puppy too though" I sighed, looking down at him. He batted my hand with his larger than average paw and I giggled. "you're not helping me get anything done either are you" I sighed, flopping down to lay on the light grey carpet. "I have a feeling it's going to be a long night" I yawned.

............

The following morning I woke up with a heavy heart. It seems ridiculous since I've been living on my own for the last decade, but the thought of this being so final, it made me feel sad. I had actually locked up my house last night-after bringing with me all the essentials I was going to need- and leaving to spend my last night here at my mum and Dad's house- and that meant in my old room...

I stretched out under the covers and sighed. It was 7am and the sunlight from my window woke me from a dreamless sleep. Seconds later the heaviness came over me and I realized I only had a few hours left with my parents before they drove me to the airport. I was being dramatic, I know I was. I mean, living with Kimi was just the same as living on my own in the respect that I wouldn't see my family any less...Maybe it was just the realization that I was going to be moving in with a boy. Maybe that was the thing to be nervous about. But then I looked to my door and giggled. There, on the back of the closed white wooden door, was a three foot poster of the man of my dreams, looking all surly and brooding in a Red Bull snap back, sunglasses- his long blonde hair poking out from underneath the hat as he stared down the person taking the shot. His Red Bull days rallying were my favourite look on him. Somehow I don't think he would go for the fluffy jawline stroking 'do anymore. But a girl can dream...

"Sweetie, you want some breakfast?" I heard my mum's cautious tone on the other side of the door. "yes please! I'm coming straight down" I called back softly before fluttering my eyelids shut one last time, willing myself to feel even a little bit more awake. 

.........

"you will ring me as soon as you land won't you" Mum fussed me as she held my face between her palms. "yesh!" I muttered as she squeezed my cheeks tightly. "and I know where that Kimi lives if he does anything you don't like!" Dad warned as I pulled myself out of mum's grasp. But I rolled my eyes, "he won't do anything o the sort," I said, "besides, you'd need to bring Grandad with you if you wanted to intimidate him Dad" I giggled, getting a smirk in return. "well, just you make him aware of it" he added, before pulling me into a tight hug. "I'll miss you sugar snap" he whispered in my ear as he held me tight. "miss you too Dad" I smiled, praying my tears stayed in until I had at least gone through to my gate. 

I stood back and looked at the pair of them. They had always been my world. My everything. And even though this next step in my life wasn't taking me any further away from them than I already was; it made me feel like I was growing up that much more and I wasn't that little girl anymore, I was becoming a woman- starting my life anew with a man I never thought I could find. It gave me goosebumps. "I love you guys" I sighed, as the first tear fell. They both rushed at me to pull me into them. A million and one hugs from them would never be enough, and I knew no matter how old I would be, I would always needs this. They were there for me in ways that only a parent can be, "I couldn't ask for better parents...I'm going to miss you so much" I sighed squeezing them tight. "now I gotta go before I really do start bawling like a baby" I laughed off my emotional state, pulling back to wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. "we love you so much Bella" My mum whimpered as she stood dabbing her eyes with a tissue. "but you keep breaking those balls" Dad warned me as he frowned and shook his fist. I burst out into laughing tears before I blew them a kiss and turned on my heel. Fuck. Why is saying goodbye so damn fucking hard.