Jack Hansen - Small Man of the Big City: A Day Like Any Other

1

A Day Like Any Other

"Jack! On your left!" Jack heard Bill's voice, swung around, and immediately walloped the hulk in the jaw.

"On your right! Your right, Jack!" Bill shouted once again.

Jack immediately turned to his right, hopped up and, grabbing a nearby branch, swinging on it pendulum-like, planted both of his feet firmly in the fat man's belly. The fatso staggered, and immediately collapsed to the ground.

"Behind you, Jack!" Bill wouldn't stop bellowing.

Jack was swinging away as hard as he could and, as though in a trance, flailing away with his steely fists in all directions. His tormentors were hitting the ground, writhing in pain, and emitting hoarse moans while begging for mercy, their imploring eyes beseeching their conqueror.

"А-а-а!" Jack suddenly howled, having been bashed across his back with a stick.

"Mister Cunningham?" he stared in incomprehension at the familiar face contorted with anger.

"Yes! It's me! It serves you right, Hansen!" Mister Cunningham intoned, once again swinging away with his club.

"You're a shallow, insignificant little soul! Incapable of anything besides wearing out holes in your pant bottoms on my office chair or staring inanely at some pretty little Molly from the Purchasing Department! You're an abject weakling and failure, who, despite your promises, never did manage to complete your quarterly report!" Mister Cunningham howled and belted Jack on the head with the tree limb.

"А-а-а-а-а-а!" Jack screamed at maximum volume and suddenly woke up.

"Norman?" Jack called out, raising himself up in his bed.

Quietly rustling around in the corner was a little white rabbit with black ears.

Jack's head hit the pillow once again and he tried to imagine to himself whether, at this ungodly hour, the girl in the window across the street from him was already awake? And had she already firmly shut her curtains, so that Jack wouldn't even manage to make out her silhouette today.

"Jack! Jack!" somebody shouted from the street.

"Damn it!" Jack rubbed his knee, having stumbled against the corner of his bed.

Having ran over to the slightly ajar window, he swung it wide open and, rubbing his sleepy eyes, stuck out his head. Dawdling by the front door, in a tight embrace with a slim chicklet, was Gary Gilbert from the upstairs apartment.

"Jack!" Gary was happy to see him.

"Would you be a pal and open the door! I can't remember where I left the damned keys!" Gary shouted, craning his neck upwards.

Jack slammed the window shut and started looking around for his bathrobe. The intercom bell kept ringing even though the door button wasn't working again.

"Damn it!" Jack cursed again and, quickly pulling on a coat over his pajamas, rushed to get down to the lobby.

"Leave me alone!"

"Leave you alone? I have to leave you?"

"Yes, let me be!"

"Well, to hell with you then!"

"You go to hell!"

"Yes, but ... this is still my apartment! If you don't like it, you're the one who has to get out!"

"Don't you worry! By tonight, you won't see me around here anymore!"

The shouting was coming from behind Austin's and Phil's closed door.