The Last Cabbage | GOT7

the cabbage in the iceberg

"You fool, you absolute fucking BUFFOON!" Youngjae huffs, manifesting a bubble of water between his palms. "You CLEARLY don't know how to catch a fish!"

Jaebum lets out a cry, readying his spear in hand to shank the first fish he sees. "Quit bullying me! I'm doing my best!"

"NO!" Youngjae bellows, the bubble between his palms bursting. "This is all your fault!" The water surrounding their tiny canoe begins to form fast currents. "Ever since mom died I've had to do all the work! Because you're so incompetent!"

Jaebum lowers his spear, trembling in sudden fear as Youngjae's temper only proceeds to get worse. "Y-Youngjae--?"

The currents get stronger, Youngjae flailing his arms as he goes on about some random problem Jaebum had caused just an hour prior before they'd set sail in their very, very tiny canoe. 

"YOUNGJAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The boat rockets into the currents, Jaebum screaming bloody murder as a large wave smacks into his face. "YOU AND YOUR GOD DAMN MAGIC WATER I SWEAR TO G O D YOUNGJAE >:((((("

Another wave throws them and their boat into a sheet of ice, Jaebum screeching like a dying rat as the sheets collide and smash the boat, sending them flying onto an iceberg. 

"this wouldn't have happened if SOMEONE was capable enough to CATCH A FUCKING FISH I SWEAR TO GOD JAEBUM I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING EVER SINCE DAD LEFT AND MOM DIED YOU HAVENT GOTTEN OFF YOUR LAZY ASS EVEN-

"Youngjae-"

"AND HAVE YOU EVEN SMELLED YOUR FUCKING CLOTHES?! THEY SMELL LIKE PENGUIN SHIT!"

The large iceberg nearest to them shatters as Youngjae continues to create a scene, making Jaebum want to jump into the freezing depths and drown himself.

"You're fucking crazy." Jaebum deadpans. "I wish i was an only child."

">:(((((" suddenly, another iceberg, glowing blue like a neon sign in the rain in new york city as strippers dance inside the building it belonged to, surfaces from the depths of the ocean. ":0000 holy shit"

"youngj"

"THERES SOMEONE INSIDDDEEE!!!" Youngjae bounds off, stepping over the dismembered corpse of the original iceberg as Jaebum seriously contemplates ending it all in the background.

Taking jaebums favorite club, the one he wrestled from a dead walrus two weeks prior, he begins mercilessly thwacking the ice, Jaebum sobbing in the background. "NOOOO MY C L U B"

the iceberg splits, a shiny twinkle blowing youngjae back because physics. From between the cracks, youngjae marvels at the sight, a green cabbage, fresh and pristine, as if it wasn't in an iceberg. 

SUDDENLY

the cabbage grows legs before manifesting into a confused manchild. he spots youngjae, his very bald head glinting under the sun and illuminating the thicc arrow on his forehead which was essentially all of his head because he had no hair.

"wanna go sledding :DDDD"

meanwhile!!!

">:0000000" prince tuna glowers at the light. "UNCLE JYPPPPPP DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS ME A N S"

JYP sighs, rubbing the thick creases in his monstrously large forehead " I wont be able to finish swamping that dumbass yg game in clash of claNs/"""

"N O" prince tuna hops around before squatting, as if he were to take the name poopdeck literally "THE AVATAR IS ALIVEVSNSP"