Scarred Comfort

Chapter 18

HINATA

Eversince I had that panic episode at midnight and waking up after a week without eating and replaced by an IV, moving became too tiring for me like my body is gonna snap any moment. I don't even know how I survived up to this day. Anyway, eversince that happened. I'm stuck here at my new room. I'm stuck up here no where to go and only books, art materials and things are at one corner of my room keeping me away from boredom. They were all worried especially my family and friends and most of all, Haru. This is all his ideas, this whole new room for me, keeping my condition and me in private and living here at the next room just so he can be sure enough that I'm doing fine. Ever since, he came all he did was to support me and do everything for me. I would always say to him that enough of it, I know I'm your best friend but I'm not your wife or your daughter. He would just shush me and say it over and over again. 'I'm your best friend and you are my family, I'll do everything for you' while he smiles at me gently as he pats my head. Everyday he gaves me hope but everyday before the night ends those hopes he give were shattered all over again. He would just shrugged it off and smile again if that happens and repeat the same thing all over again. I always wondered why he keeps on doing that? Does he felt tired? I want to tell him to please stop doing this but the last time I said that was my first and the last time. He was upset for pushing him away and ending our friendship. It wasn't like that after all but he wouldn't even budge. So I just let him if this is all I can do to make him happy.

From the moment I open my eyes to the right time to close it back, I always felt different. I really do, feel and look different. Everyday, I'm becoming weaker and weaker. Panic episodes are clearly happening from day to day. So, I have to drink my meds and vitamins daily. It's frustrating cause I used to hate medicine. But, doctor Sato and Reo says that my body is reacting good but pretty slow about my medications. While my mental and physical therapies were like the same back in Brazil. Even my meds back in Brazil was doing good. Therapies are the worst, I can feel the therapy slowing me down more. Stopping me from going back to normal. After Haru told me everything I needed to know about my real condition. I panicked and became the worst chaos I could've ever imagined. So, it's my fault. No, in the beginning it was already my fault. If I haven't existed in their lives none of this would've happened. They would all be living their lives to the fullest. Yui wouldn't be angry at me. I remembered all of my worst days of my life and I hate it so much.

"niichan I'm so happy that mommy meet daddy and have another family again. So I could meet you, I love you, niichan!" I hugged him tightly not wanting to let him go. Dad said to me that mommy and niichan had a family before. Mom, niichan and his dad. But, niichan's dad was bad. He would always hit niichan and mommy, he always drink alcohol, he never goes to work leaving mom do all the chores and the working and he would always leave mommy and niichan all covered in bruises and starving to death.

So one rainy night, mommy and niichan fight back to his dad. Mom hit him at the head with an empty glass bottle. He fell down, unconscious. They escaped and met daddy on the way home from work driving his car. Mommy and niichan were cold and wet from the heavy rain and daddy saved them. Since then, daddy took care of mommy and niichan and me. My real mom died from gaving birth leaving dad and me, so I'm happy that dad found niichan and mommy. Dad said that niichan's dad was really bad and was being locked up in jail for years.

After hearing that story from daddy I'm going to protect mom and niichan from now on! Just like daddy did. He is a hero! And I want to be just like him! After hugging niichan for a long time, I went inside the kitchen and hugged mommy's right leg. I can't reach him yet to hug her properly. I giggled, and went back to play with niichan. I can hear mommy is laughing. Mommy is happy and niichan is happy too. We are all happy because we're a family. A very happy one!