The methodic actress

Methodic actress

Marinette dupain-cheng was a methodic actor since she first learned to talk. A lot of her antics are funny: her clumsiness, her cartoonish crush on Adrian, her heartfelt nature, and a lie. It is all a lie.

Even her own clumsy lies were lies. Nearly nothing about her is truthful.

Some things were, like her crush on Adrian, though its way more toned down than how Marinette portrays it. She likes to make people laugh, like silly clowns do, so turn her life into a joke, she doesn't care. Just laugh at or with her, she doesn't care. Just laugh.

Marinette knew what she was, and she was a people-pleaser. She had a full course set of personalities, multiple for each person.

Sure she still held opinions and beliefs that she kept with each personality, like despising Lila and slowly but surely starting to hate Chloe ever so slightly less, but the point still stands.

Marinette never knew who she was. Now she never will too far buried under personalities that aren't her.

She never really felt alive other than when she was ladybug. Maybe the adrenaline? Perhaps she felt like herself then? A true hero? Maybe she liked playing make-believe fantasy that she's worth something. She didn't know. All she knew was to please others. And she pleased thousands as ladybug. Maybe that's why she likes that personification of herself so much.

She'd do anything to make people she cares about happy, she'll throw her entire life away and make it in little servings for each person if she must.

Other than ladybug, she only felt okay when she saw her friends and family smile when she saw them truly happy.

Ideas fall out of thin air about how she could help others, making people happy was an indulgence she can't seem to get herself out of. She doesn't think she wants to get herself out of it.

She sees life as a bakery. And she's the baker, everyone around her is the customer; she can help feel better, only, they don't give her anything in return. She's okay with it; in fact, their smiles are payment enough. But the store is crumbling down, the bakery is running out of money, and rent needs to be paid. The bakery will inevitably fall at this rate. Marinette doesn't find it in herself to care. She doesn't care, she still lets them order anything they want from her.

But this time her facade was breaking, people could see the cracks in the walls, something happened, and she hated being seen through more than she hated Lila.

"Hey girl, you good? You've been staring off into space for a while there." Alya said, waving a hand in front of her best friend's face. Alya didn't know what, but something was wrong. Marinette just looked so blank and... Soulless today.

Alya tried convincing herself it was something that happened while she was away, or maybe she is still trying to get back on schedule with school? They did just come off from break.

Marinette snapped out of her trance, though, and her eyes popped back to life like they were never soulless, to begin with. "Hmm? Oh, I'm fine, Alya! Just thinking to myself." Marinette responded, waving her hand up and down next to her, trying to convince her she's okay.

Alya didn't buy it, "What did you think about that got you so lost in thought, girl?" Alya found herself asking, Marinette only looked away, "Uh... Adrien..." She said in a low tone.

Now Alya was anxious, Mari never looked that way when thinking about Adrian, her eyes practically turned to hearts when she saw him, let alone think of him.

"You sure you good, Mari?" Alya asked again, hoping Mari would cave in and tell her, Marinette just nodded, "Yes, I'm fine, Alya, it's just been a long day." Was all Marinette said as they walked outside.