Silver Lining

CHAPTER SEVEN

I wrapped my arms around my body, shivering as I walked back up the lawn towards the house. My hair stuck to the back of my neck in clumps, damp strands clinging to my cheeks and my jaw.

Tears still streamed upon my face from having been forced to leave my brother to die alone. I only hoped that he will be found soon, although true justice can never be served in the human world for those who mourned his loss.

Emma and Miss Peregrine sat in the parlour, reading, as Olive played a game of chess with Millard. As I rounded the corner, in the state I was in, chaos broke out amongst them.

"Agnes Portman, what in god's name-" Miss Peregrine was cut off as I sobbed, running to my caretaker and throwing myself into her arms. For a moment she didn't know what to do, with a sopping wet teenager who was doubtlessly destroying one of her nicest blazers, but she slowly wrapped her arms around my shoulders and patted my hair. "Here now, what's going on?"

I could hardly speak through my tears, choking out my response as I wept. "Abe- he - he-"

"Agnes, what happened to Abe?"

Emma stood with her arms crossed in front of her chest, frowning, but I could see the fear in her eyes. It had been decades, and the day that we were all quietly dreading had finally come.

"A hollow - it - Abe's-" I pressed my head into Miss Peregrine's shoulder as my companions made their deductions based on what I had been able to mutter. I couldn't stop myself from trembling like a leaf, no matter how tightly Miss Peregrine held onto me.

Olive raced back into the room with Enoch trailing behind her, both panting from having run down the stairs. "What's going on?"

"I'm afraid, a tragic accident has befallen Abe." Miss Peregrine confirmed, her own voice as quiet as a mouse. "How did you know?"

"I was with him, but I couldn't save him." Miss Peregrine stiffened in my grasp and I only cried harder.

"This afternoon, I suggested that if Agnes can communicate through a reflective surface, what's to stop her from travelling from one to the other? I didn't know-"

"It's all right, Enoch." Miss Peregrine silenced him, holding me out at arms length from herself. There were tears welling in her eyes too although she refused to let them fall. "Take Agnes to her room for the day whilst I try to figure out what to tell the children."

Emma had already run to her own room whilst we were speaking, and Olive had chased after her, so Enoch and I were left alone. I sniffled, wrapping my arms around myself again as I walked closer to him.

"Come on, I'll get you some tea in a bit." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder so gently it was as if he feared I was going to break, as he walked me up the stairs and to my bedroom. I felt numb. I had gone to see my brother, and when I left he had been killed by a hollow.

I couldn't even begin to comprehend all that had happened, other than that I should never have left him. He could have been saved yet, somehow, but I let a hollow chase me away. I would never be able to forgive myself for leaving my brother for dead as I ran away like a coward.

"You're freezing, change into some dry clothes and I'll be back soon." Enoch pulled a towel around my shoulders as I slumped down onto my bed. "Please, I'll be back in a minute."

I nodded, wordlessly. As he left, I towel dried my hair with the towel on my shoulders before going through my wardrobe for a pair of pyjamas. More tears streamed down my face as I found one of Abe's old shirts that he had grown out of, but he had given it to me as a joke as he was sure that it would fit. I changed out of my dress and pulled on the shirt along with a pair of cotton pyjama bottoms and climbed back onto my bed.

I stared into my lap, waiting for Enoch to come back. Whilst I had stopped crying, my chest still ached. It was as if my heart had been pulled out and shoved back in with reckless abandon, unaware of the damage that was being caused. Things just felt so wrong. Whilst Abe wasn't here, at least I could speak to him and I knew he was all right. Now I would have to live in this loop for eternity knowing that I had witnessed my brother's death and did nothing to stop it.

Enoch smiled sadly as he noticed my shirt, kicking the door closed behind him as he carried a tea tray over to my bed. He poured a cup for both he and myself, popping in a few sugar cubes before passing the saucer to me. I nibbled at a biscuit, staring down at my bedspread as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"What happened?" Enoch asked, after a few minutes of silence.

I sighed, pushing my hair behind my ears. "I couldn't stop it. The hollow it-"

Enoch took one of my hands and rubbed his thumb over the back of it as a fresh onslaught of tears fell. "Okay, from the beginning, what happened?"

"I-I got to his home okay, and he was there, but he was scared. There was a Hollow waiting for us outside and he wanted to go out to kill it, to get it over with. Oh god, why didn't I just make him stay inside." I rubbed furiously at my eyes to dry the tears that continued to spill.

"Did you get hurt?"

"The hollow-it-it picked me up and threw me across the clearing. I'm fine, I think, I think I was just winded." I hurried on as his grip grew tighter on my hand. "Then it got to Abe and I couldn't move, I could hardly breathe."

"You couldn't do anything, okay, this isn't your fault."

"But isn't it?" I asked. "First Victor, and now Abe- people just seem to get hurt when I'm around."

"That's not true, you can't blame yourself for that."

"But I can. If I hadn't begged Victor to come down to the lake with me, he'd still be alive. If I had convinced Abe to stay all those years ago, or to at least stay in his house today instead of going out on the bloody hero's errand then he'd still be here."

"Stop it." Enoch's grip on my hand had grown so tight I feared that he was going to break a bone. "We all wish they were still here, but it's not your fault that they're not. Abe chose to leave, Victor chose to come with you. They made their choice as much as you made yours. We live in a world of free will, you didn't make them do anything."

"But-"

"No." Enoch stopped me. "If you go down that path you'll never come back."

I took a deep breath, however, it felt as if there was a block of iron sitting on my chest. "I think I need to be alone for a while."

Enoch smiled sadly. "I'll see you at dinner."

I didn't leave my room for three months.