Felix One-Shots || l.f.

Swing set

Usually your parents don't allow you to go out at night, but tonight was an exception. When you told them about a certain Australian turned South Korean idol was back in town for a week, they didn't think twice about letting you see him. You had a close relationship with your parents as a result of being an only child and that's why ever since you caught a crush on Felix Lee back in fifth grade they knew. Surprisingly, they were even supportive about it back then.

And now he's back in town for a week and tonight you were going to meetup with him just like old times. You were ecstatic. Skipping along the streets at night while on your way to the park where you met him for the first time. You remembered how it all happened like it was yesterday. One of the few consequences of being an only child was you never had your first set of friends, also referred to as your siblings, so you'd always end up playing alone at home. Playgrounds and parks gave you anxiety since you weren't the best at socializing back then due to the lack of practice.

But unlike you, your mom was quite the social butterfly. She'd always take you out to parks and playgrounds and would end up sitting on the benches with the other moms chatting while you sat alone on the swing sets, desperately trying to push yourself despite being tiny.

Not until one fortunate day, someone actually pushed for you. It was him. He beamed the brightest smile at you after pushing you a few times just enough to keep the motion going. It was because of that day and that boy that your perspective on parks and playgrounds changed. You started enjoying your time there when your mom would take you on the afternoons. You made your first friend and he was always with you, ready to push you on the swing sets and even became your partner on the seesaw.

You arrived at your meetup place at exactly 8:49 in the evening. You understood why Felix asked to meet you at such a late hour; things were different now. You wanted to believe that he was still the Felix you met at the playground years ago but that wasn't the case. He's now a world-renowned idol with fans eyeing his every move. This is for the best, you kept reminding yourself. It was already kind of enough of him to still want to meetup despite his busy schedules.

Since it was Australia, evenings weren't really chilly. Despite that, though, you still wore a knit sweater with a pair of leggings. The parks are more peaceful at night, you thought out loud. You started to wonder why you stopped hanging out here but then realize why... it was because of him. Ever since Felix left Australia, the park and playground didn't feel the same. In your defense, he was the reason why you started liking them in the first place.

You took a seat at the ever-familiar swing set and pushed yourself off with your feet. The sound of bustling leaves kept you company. It was probably just some squirrels. Your swinging started to slow down but you just let it. You were starting to overthink the situation.

What if he ditches me? Or, what if the paparazzi caught him? Should I call him? No, I'll probably sound too needy and clingy. What should I do then?

You felt a soft force push you from behind and you started to swing again. Your head turned toward the source and a smile immediately formed on your lips. It's only been a few years since you last saw him personally but there were definitely a ton of changes. His once chubby cheeks were now replaced with a chiseled jaw and cheekbones. Despite it being dark out, his platinum blonde hair stood out in the night.

But the impact of his presence remained the same. He still felt like home.

"You've been here long?" Felix asked while taking a seat on the swing next to you.

"Just a few minutes." Was all you could utter out. You were still trying to calm your heart from beating so fast. Surprise, surprise. You still weren't over your huge crush on Felix.

"How've you been? It's been a while, huh?" If there was something you liked most about Felix, it was his voice. The way it was as deep as oceans but still somehow sounded like honey was something you adored a lot, as confusing as it is.

"I've been good. Uni's been taking a toll on me but it's nothing I can't manage... hopefully." He laughed at the last part of your sentence. I've missed that.

"You are literally the smartest person I know, y/n, I'm sure you're killing it at uni." You smiled. He was always your biggest hype man, always reminding you that you were the best even though deep inside you felt like you weren't.

"What about you? What've you been up to?"

"Well, uh, my group and I released a Japanese version of one of our songs recently. That's been doing pretty well, I guess."

You nodded at his statement. You could have just been assuming things but you felt like he wasn't really fond talking about his idol life or career. But then again, you haven't met-up with him for almost four years. Things do change pretty fast.

"I remember," Felix started. You made eye contact with him and beckoned him to continue, "you would always talk about wanting to go to Japan."

"I still do." You giggled. "My family and I were supposed to go this summer, but you know Corona happened so that went down the drain pretty fast."

"Ah... of course."

The both of you sat in silence for a while. For years, you would hang around your balcony at this time of night alone with nothing but the night breeze to keep you company. But suddenly, the sound of the whistling night breeze didn't feel so lonely anymore.

The silence was disrupted when Felix cleared his throat. "When I was in Japan for the first time after our debut, I thought of you a lot."

Your cheeks started to heat up with his statement. Luckily for you, it was too dark for him to notice the sudden tint of pink on your cheeks. You forced an awkward laugh and asked why.

Instead of replying, he looked up at the moon. It was rarely cloudy in Australia so you stared at the moon shining brightly in all its glory. It was enough to keep you distracted from Felix not answering your question. Again, silence enveloped you both but you were fine with it. It was a beautiful night and you didn't want to ruin it.

"Tsuki ga kirei desu ne?"

You turned to Felix and felt your heart dropped. Why? Well, you found Felix speaking in Japanese beyond enticing. Both that and the context of his words made your heart melt. But you quickly snapped yourself out of it. There is no way in hell that he would mean it. He probably doesn't know what the phrase meant. Yeah, that's it.

"Shindemoī wa..." you said just loud enough for him to hear.

Suddenly the night breeze you just found comforting turned cold again. You were looking at each other with similar expressions – with disbelief. His mouth was slightly agape due to your response.

"Y-you understood what the phrase meant?" the boy in front of you stuttered, struggling to complete his sentence.

"Yeah... In case you forgot I watch a lot of anime, so..." you took this as an opportunity to break your eye contact and returned your gaze on the moon. The two of you were left with awkward tension.

You unconsciously fidgeted with your thumbs together. You didn't know how to react and basing from good judgment, neither did he. But you wondered why he seemed so perplexed that you understood what he said.

"Felix –"

"I meant it, y/n. That's probably the reason why you were the only thing on my mind while I was in Japan." He ended with a gulp.

Your right hand involuntarily went up to cover your mouth which was wide open. "What?" was all you could say. You couldn't bring yourself to process what just happened. You were in a state of denial and self-doubt. It's impossible, you thought to yourself. How could the boy you've been pining over since fifth grade suddenly confess to you first?

But was it really impossible, though?