Avitas Harper

Part 8

I stare at Helene as she worries about what this failure would mean to her. She let Elias go after all. I can't think of what could have happened for that short period that I was gone, but I know that she saw him. 

As she hands out orders for the tortures of Elias' family to Faris, I receive letters from her father and sister. I read them. I understand the way they indirectly remind her of what is happening back in Serra. I smile at the letters -P.S. your mom reminds you to eat.

When I give those letters to Aquilla, she merely looks at the broken seals and reads them. I see her expression change immediately. She presses her lips together and hands out new orders. I can see her battle with what she has to do and what she thinks in her morality is right.

But we are Masks, we do what is good for the empire. 

I know that Livia is well, that the family is hiding her from the Emperor's eyes. Her illness is a excuse. Does she forget the consequences of her actions?

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As we try to cover the vast expanse of desert in search of Elias, we are unable to find him. We have very less men. 

I smell something in the air. Coppery. Like blood. "Blood Shrike, do you smell that?"

I look around for any signs of danger. Keris is standing there with scholar prisoners. Blood Shrike's demeanor is immediately more stiff. Not only due to the presence of Commandant but also the sight.

Aquilla says, "These civilians do not look like rebel fighters to me."

Not a statement anyone wishes to hear from the Blood Shrike of an unstable empire. It would be taken in the wrong way. I see Keris mocking Helene in the way she does, with her face expressionless. 

When Keris steps towards a boy, I hear Helene say, "Stop."

Keris kills them all anyway. Her face is frighteningly blank and I can see the stiffness in Helene in the way she grabs the reins. Then she says, "Bury the bodies."

I hear all the Commandant's lessons play out in my mind. You have to make hard choices as a Mask. You serve the emipire.

I see rest of the men look at the exchange between Keris and Aquilla with interest. Keris gives me a look. I know what she is trying to say. No one sees her doing that, except me. Kill Aquilla.

When I was in Blackcliff, I remember Keris calling me to her office and saying, "What makes a good Mask Harper?"

I had answered many times and each time she shook her head. She looked at me in the end and said, " A good Mask is not made by wielding the swords. A truly dangerous Mask is that who won't let anything deter their goal. Focus. No emotions, no friendships."

I had been a little unnerved then. I was not he best in my batch, but I tried to. And in doing that I let her influence me too much. 

I remember hearing about the Trials, how the Augurs had chosen a girl. Some had outright laughed saying that she could serve the empire in some other way. I never thought of her as anything less than a Mask just because she is a girl. 

We retire in the garrisons. I remember Keris' order to kill Helene. 

Then I see Helene looking at me through one eye after I beat her, refusing to answer. I see her tight fists as she thinks about her family. I think about how she tried to save the children. The Empire needs a leader like her. And she is a good person. Strong. Loyal.

I wonder what horrors she has already seen. We all have, we are Masks. I eat and then head over to her quarters with food. She is lying on a bunk, eyebrows drawn in thinking about something.

"I brought you food."

She gets up in a hurry and bangs her head to the bunk above. I say, "The Commandant left a hour ago. She is headed North."

To give her time, I start to remove my armor. As I am about to strip off my shirt, I step into the dark to change. I have changed in front of many soldiers, but not one was like her. I don't hear her move to take the food.

"The food won't jump down your throat, Shrike."

She stills looks at the food and then at me. I sigh and take a bite of the food. It is a sort of intimate gesture, eating from the same plate, but none of that. She is the Shrike, you are her second in command. 

"The old Shrike had tasters." 

She looks at me quizzically, "People tried to assassinate him?"

I look at her trying to hide my annoyance. He was the second most important man in the entire empire. Of course people tried to kill him. 

For a person who plays such an important role in the empire, she doesn't take care of herself, nor does she take herself as seriously as she should

I ask her, "Why did you let him go?"

"Let who go?"

"I know when you are trying to mislead me, Shrike. Five days in an interrogation room, remember?" I see her expression. Wary. But on the mention of the torture. I have started thinking of her as more than the girl I interrogated. But does she see me as the same person?

It matters not.

You need to play better than this. I am curious. Just not in the way she thinks. 

"You let Veturius go in Nur. Because you love him? Is he not a Mask, like any other?"

"How dare you!" I see the rage in her, fear in her. She doesn't understand why I am asking. How could she? I have never told anyone.

She sits down again and I can see that she is calming herself. She looks out of the window.

There is something in her expression, tenderness. She says, "Elias sees people as they should be."

"Like at the first trial." I see her shiver a little but don't say anything, in case she shuts herself again. "He is the things I can't be. He is good. He would have never let the Commandant kill those children." Guilt. Sorrow. Longing. 

I want to tell her that she tried, that she tries to protect so many people. But as a Blood Shrike she can't hear those words. Try isn't enough.

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