Scars

Chapter Ten-Healing

"You look a little rough around the edges yourself," I tell Sirius softly and he chuckles.

"Haven't exactly been sleeping well."

"Being in the hospital does that to you."

"More like worrying about you does that to me." He corrects and his hand is still on the bed where my hand previously was before being caged in my sling. I wish I could reach out to him. "I mean, what were you thinking, love? Diving like that?" He asks but my mind has stalled on love. He's calling me love again. "You could have killed yourself." Sirius continues and I blink as I come back to the conversation.

"I just wanted to protect you," I tell him softly and he runs a hand through his mess of waves.

"Protection in a relationship should go both ways! Honesty too!" He says heatedly and I lean my head back against the pillows for a moment out of frustration.

"I'm not picking a fight with you right now." I sigh, but his expression is earnest when I look back at him and he slides his chair closer.

"I'm not trying to fight with you, Arell, I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with myself." Sirius slumps back in his chair and rubs his hands over his eyes. "I treated you terribly and said such...horrible things."

"Hey," I call to him so he looks back up to me. "We both said horrible things. Besides, you were right. I don't know how to deal with people caring about me because no one ever has before. I'm still learning."

"But you aren't like your family." He assures me instantly and I half-smile.

"And neither are you," I say back and a shadow of that crooked grin appears.

"Guess we're both black sheep." He suggests and I hum in agreement with a smile on my face.

"Guess so." I relent and shrug with only one of my shoulders. That's going to get old fast. Suddenly his grin widens and he scoots forward so he's on the edge of his seat.

"It also means that you've still been crazy about me this whole time. Has it been hard to hide such raw passion?" I laugh but I'm blushing too and I don't fool myself into thinking he doesn't notice. The rest of the boys and Lily return before we can keep talking, but I'm happy about the food. It's nice being around all my friends again and Lily manages not to kill James, so I call it a win overall.

Later on, I convince Lily to go to bed since she's the one who has been taking my notes and has twice the workload. She takes Peter since he's practically asleep already while Remus is snoring ever so softly on the hospital bed next to us. It's just Sirius, James, and I now. James has snuggled next to me on my good side with his arm on the bed behind me while Sirius is at my feet. He's leaning against the metal rails and his hand is on my shin keeping me close to him.

"You know I'm writing to my parents about this, right Mane?" James whispers and I go to turn towards him but wince at the pain in my shoulder.

"Stay still, would you?" Sirius murmurs sleepily with an affectionate pat to my feet. I sigh before craning my neck to look at James' hazel eyes. His head shakes before I even start talking.

"I'm going to write to them. They'll want to know about it as well as the real reason why you left. Don't need my ma to box my ears over it." He tells me and I press my lips together in resignation. There's no stopping James when he puts his mind to something.

"Let me write to them." James' brows pop up as his eyes go to my sling and I huff. "Okay, would you put in a little bit from me? It won't be long." His face breaks with a wide smile and he nods.

"As much as you want, Mane." He assures me and that, at least, gives me some peace. "Hey, look." He murmurs and flicks his chin to the end of the bed where Sirius' head has dipped to his chest as he sleeps. I hum a soft laugh while trying not to move too much so I wake him up. "He's been up with you almost every night, so it's good to see him get some sleep." James reaches down and flops half the blanket over my feet onto him before settling back beside me. I smile softly and wish Lily was here to see this side of James. Sometimes he is an idiot, but he's an idiot with good intentions and a great heart.