Stony One-Shots

Alone Again

This is after the events off Endgame, except Steve still looks young :)

(TW: Mention of loss and grief, death.)

Enjoy!

Steve's POV

I still hadn't gotten used to waking up in my bed with nobody next to me, everytime I rolled over to the other side of the bed I was met with the cold side of the matress, not the warm touch of my husband and being able to nuzzle into his neck.

Every day I wake up with the same routine, wake up, get dressed, eat, shower, cry, sleep. And repeat. A week had passed with the same routine going on. I had been getting calls from the whole team every day but I ended up muting my phone.

I miss the feeling of waking up to the sun in my eyes as I see my husband standing by the window laughing to himself as he thought about the movie we watched the night before. I miss the feeling of walking with him into the kitchen holding his hand and helping him cook breakfast for the team. I miss the smell of coffee that surrounded him in the mornings and how he used to snuggle into me on movie nights.

Nothing's been the same, Bucky lost Natasha, WE lost Natasha. She deserved better, she deserved a happy life with Bucky. She always told me how she wanted to marry him, yet she never got the chance too, she sacrificed herself for humanity.

Nothing's been the same.

I find myself fidgeting with my wedding ring ever so often. I had taken my wedding ring and Tony's and put them on a necklace that I refuse to take off. It gives me closure, as weird as it sounds.

Nothing's been the same.

I walk down to the workshop hanging my head low not daring to look at the suits. I miss him, I miss his cute little giggle whenever I would tease him. I miss his smile that could brighten the whole room and everybody in it. I miss his attitude towards the press. But what I miss most about him is the way he treated me, he treated me like I was the only one in his life, like I was a lost little puppy he had saved off the streets, like the light of his life. 

Please come back.

Why can't he be here, why. It was like the color in my eyes had been drained. I felt empty, lost and hopeless. We were happy, we deserved to be happy. Why did it have to be taken away?

Why?

I place myself under the covers laying down on the soft, silk matress, feeling the loss of weight on the other side, I shift trying to get comfortable, not seeming to be able to. Standing up I walk over to the closet, never having been able to clear it out. I picked up one of Tony's shirts, it was an old AC/DC one, he used to wear it to bed. I quickly put it on nuzzling in on the homey smell on it. I layed back down on the bed finding myself smiling as I grabbed the neckline of the soft fabric bringing it closer to me.

Slowly I start to fade into the darkness of my dreams, I defeat the temptation of flipping over to my other side only knowing there was nobody there to comfort me.

Only darkness.

I walk through the fog, I had this dream every night, always waking up in a pool of my own sweat and tears, shaking from the horror.

I carefully use my hand picking at some leaves on the tree's hanging over me, I walk closer to what I presumed was his grave. I place my hand on the headstone whispering sweet nothings as I try to hold my tears back. Standing back up I slowly start to back away, not taking my eye off it. I felt like if I took my eyes off it, it would dissapear, like I would be sucked into a void filled with nothing but pain and suffering. Walking a few more steps backwards I force myself to look away from the now mossy headstone, I look down onto the Gauntlet I had on my hand, checking the back of it seeing the stones still attached to it, but the color had faded, they were now light gray. I scream, it sounding silent but still there. I try to stop myself as my hand comes closer to my face, I tug on it, it not budging.

Just one chance.

I open my eyes seeing the Gauntlet still on my hand, only the stones had vanished. I looked ahead coming face to face to the battle arena, it was in flames. The team standing there crouched down. I walk past them, nothing but the flames being the only thing moving. Everything sounded silent, only faint cracks of the fires being heard.

I look down, seeing my husband sitting there, tears in his eyes, begging for forgiveness. He left thinking he did something wrong, thinking he failed me as a lover. He never heard me say that it was alright, saying that he was safe now, that we would be fine, that he could

Rest.

I place my hand onto his arc reactor seeing the light fade, as the light faded, the world did too. Until it was all dark.

You're home.

I wake up, drenched in tears and sweat. I lay back down sobbing into the shirt, it would be a long recovery.

But I would make it.

Hello! Sorry for the angst, but what can I say, I was feeling a n g s t y. Anyways, hope you enjoyed and I'l, catch ya'll later! 🏳️‍🌈