I'm sorry amaya
If i had one wish in the world
It would be go see you again, to hear your beautiful laugh, to feel your warm and gentle touch
I'm sorry i didn't say something to keep you awake
I'm sorry i didn't tell anyone what you were going through
Depression is not something to be taken lightly
It's not only bad thoughts but self harm and possible harm to others
It's death
You don't know what you have until you can never go back to it
Humans don't know if there is really a heaven or hell
If we get reincarnated
If it's just the end
I realize now that im not afraid of death
Im afraid of what comes after
Im afraid of nothing
And yet everything
Im scared to move
Im scared to breathe
Im scared to let anyone in for fear that they will leave me even more broken than i already am
Or that i will hurt them and put them in pain
Its intolerable
Its suffocating
I feel like i need to die to rid myself of all this stress and anxiety and grief and everything
But i know i have to survive
If i dont, then my friends, family, everyone who ever cared about my well-being, will have to carry a burden upon themselves
They will have to come to the fact that things will never be the same as it was before
They will need to understand i would never come back
Even if i want to
I cant
If any of you are dealing with depression or suicidal thoughts, please dont end it
Tell someone
Its the only way you can truly rid yourself of the pain that lies within
Whispering to you to cut, drink, smoke
Its the only way you can save yourself, and others
Please
Tell someone about your thoughts and feelings
Dont give up, keep fighting and no matter how hard the battle gets, stay strong
Its okay to let your feelings out, but dont let them take over you
Or you will drown in an ocean of sadness
Become engulfed in a fiery rage
Or even lost in the darkness of uselessness
