the gray days

| v

- I AM NOT

sometimes to write is to be hidden, seeing everything from behind, as a viewer traumatized by everything that is attached to a tireless past, always running, seeking, hunting the new person that left behind the old. when i write, i protect myself from my cryptic yesterday. the coward version of me builds walls, puts dirt inside its ears. i try to uncover it, but is difficult to be myself between renounced lines.

the part in which soul and bones are in constant war of who's the solid base of human being, there is where the I detaches from me. the ambivalence of believing or non believing in my writing's identity is going to destroy me. i can be, i can be nothing but affirmatives doubts.

i exist by the skin of my teeth, barely feeling life's heartbeat. only when i write, when i see things with my broken I, i can dispense with traumas to be all fear. bewteen death and agony, almost breathe.