Inclement Weather: A Conceptual Short Story Collection

Reverend Charlie and the Whirlwind

"My brothers and sisters in Christ...." Jeffrey stood at the pulpit, a plain wooden lectern salvaged from a local school, and leaned forward to speak into the microphone. His hands were sweaty and he cleared his throat a few times before continuing. "I have received a message from the Lord himself."

A murmur rose from the assembled congregation. A few people shifted on their metal folding chairs, sending squeaks up from different parts of the room. From the side of the stage where the pulpit was, Reverend Justin nodded and smiled, encouraging Jeffrey to continue. 

The First Church of the Sea of Galilee met in a former nightclub. The long bar, the sound system and lighting had all been jerked out of the reach of Satan and repurposed for the Lord. The black walls had been painted over with seven coats of blinding white and the pink and purple stage lights over Jeffrey's head made the entire basement glow with a heavenly light. Jeffrey sweated even more under their unnatural heat. 

Public speaking had never been his strong suit.

"God told me that. . ." Jeffrey stumbled, not knowing how to phrase the message into the right words. It had seemed so pure, so right, when he'd received it two days previously.  He'd been out in his back yard chopping wood and thinking about Reverend Charlie when the Lord had given him the order, just like that. 

He leaned in closer to the microphone. ". . . well, uh. As we all know, our beloved Reverend Charlie has been sick for a long time. God told me that the moment for him to leave us and take up his mansion in heaven is coming. Within the next week, that is."

A louder murmur rose from the crowd. And more squeaks.

"But fear not!" Jeffrey continued. "For God has told me that Reverend Charlie is not going to die! He will be taken up and ascend into heaven in a great whirlwind like the prophet Elijah. This is his godly reward for leading us so wisely for so many years.  And for prophesying our way to the light of Christ on the banks of the Galilee."

A hand in the first row of chairs arranged on the former dance floor shot up.

"Yes, Norm?"

"Weren't there horses or something in that whirlwind? Is God gonna send horses to take Reverend Charlie home?" Norm shouted. 

Reverend Justin came up to the pulpit and Jeffery gladly stepped back a few paces to let him have it, taking the handkerchief out of the back pocket of his jeans and wiping his forehead with it.  

"That's right, Norm." Reverend Justin said, his voice radiating the confidence Jeffrey lacked.  "Elijah was swooped up in a big ol' whirlwind where the fiery chariot of God, complete with horses, was spinning."

"Are we gonna get to see it?" shouted a voice from further back.

"Is the whirlwind gonna come here?" called another. 

Reverend Justin turned to Jeffrey, who shook his head. "I'm supposed to take him to the whirlwind," he said. 

"What? We can't hear you! Talk into the mic, Jeffrey!"

Reverend Justin stepped away from the pulpit and Jeffrey reluctantly stepped forward. He swallowed a few times before speaking.

"The Lord told me I'm supposed to take Reverend Charlie to the whirlwind. I don't know where that is, exactly, but I'm guessing Reverend Charlie might. I . . .I looked it up, but in the Good Book, it says that Elijah had to go to three different places before the whirlwind and the fiery chariot and all showed up. It didn't come to him." 

More murmuring rose as the members of the congregation opened the Bibles on their laps and began searching for the story index. 

"It's, uh, in the second book of Kings. 2:11," said Jeffrey.