dear you.

from me,

hello everyone, it's elise!

(p.s. i wrote this at 2:30AM, please bear with me if there are any grammatical or spelling mistakes.)

i have contemplated for a long time on how to start this note. i know that it has been 2 years since i went on a hiatus — who knew 2 years could past this fast? i am really sorry to those of you who have waited for me for 2 years, when all i do is make empty promises. i hope you can read through this and understand why.

i graduated in 2018 and moved on to a higher educational level in 2019, i am currently still studying in the same school in 2020. during these 2 years, i have been flooded with many assignments and school work. the deadlines for each assignments were always really close together that i felt like there was need for me to better manage my time. this was one of the reasons why i couldn't write.

countless times i have tried to force myself to write during my free time but i could no longer bring myself to. writing suddenly became a chore, not a hobby. it suddenly became a 'need', not a 'want'. these 2 particular feelings are very different — i used to write a lot because i genuinely enjoy writing and i want to share my work with everyone. but now, i feel like i need to write because i got to fulfil my promised and i don't wish to disappoint anyone. it's really hard to force yourself to do something which you don't enjoy, and this is also another reason why i don't write anymore.

needless to say, with the lack of the feeling of wanting to write, i gradually stopped writing all together. i also didn't have any ideas on how i should start, continue of end my stories anymore. i used to be able to write a whole story in one sitting, but now, no words come out even if i try to write. it's worse than a writer's block, it's a more terrible and horrible feeling knowing that you have lost the potential to do so.

on the upside, i have been able to catch up with my dramas and other hobbies which i didn't used to do a lot because i was often preoccupied with writing. i have discovered many interesting things which i could do and enjoying doing more than writing.

therefore, i sincerely apologise with all my heart to everyone who has been waiting for new stories or updates to my existing stories. i am really sorry that i might not be able to write again because my passion does not lie within writing anymore. i have really enjoyed my time here as both a writer and a reader. i made wonderful friends here and i am still in contact with some of them. i was also able to read your comments and your messages which often brightens up my day. thank you so much for your kind words everyone 💗

i also want to thank bts for existing so i could meet you guys too 🥰 bts is really inspiring and they really speak with their music, i am so glad that they are getting the attention which they have deserved long ago. i love bts so much and i know all of you do too! it's such a blessing that we're existing at the same time as them 💗

it has been a great journey of 5 years with you guys! i started writing in dec 2015, and i had no idea i would come this far. i'm really thankful for the support which you guys have given me 🥰

i allow translations for all my books and feel free to take my story ideas as well! or if you're more comfortable to get my permission, you can always do so. if you have any questions you would like to ask me, feel free to message me on wattpad as i'll still be here to reply to your messages. you can also message on my twitter @/outroxego, i'll try to reply your messages asap from next week onwards as i'm currently still working on my assignments!

with that being said, i'll officially sign off from wattpad now. i know that a lot of things are happening in the word right now with COVID-19 and BLM, so i really hope that you guys are staying safe and do take care of your health! take a break from social media if you ever need it. feel free to talk/rant to me if you need a listening ear too! here's how you can help others too: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co

i am not sure if i will ever come back to writing. so instead of saying goodbye, i'll say,

see you again!

xoxo,
elise