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a l e x a n d r a

The toy train's in my hands. I drag it across the playroom floor, making "choo-choo" noises out of my mouth. I might be too old for toy trains, but nothing's in my way.

It's my old toy train. I got it when I was around four years old and it still looks brand new. Well, I love my toys.

My mother laughs as she sees me dragging the toy train the way I did six years ago. Can't a 10 year old have fun once in a while?

Today's December 29th - my dad's birthday!

My mother had prepared a very nice dinner earlier and we are now waiting for my dad to come home. He's always busy with work, even on his special day.

I'm an only child.

I was supposed to have a younger brother or sister but apparently he or she died whilst being born.

"Mumma's alright..." my dad had whispered.

My mother's cat sprints across the room as it chases the toy train in my hands before running up the swirling set of stairs.

The clock strikes 8 and my dad will be home soon. His meetings end at eight every night.

He's a businessman.

I always go to his office because the people there treat me nicely and are always having fun with me around.

They like to play with my blonde hair, they say. There's even a lady about mother's age that likes to braid it.

Her name is Liz and dad says her husband is his business partner. They are always around in the office. I really like her. She'd give me cookies every time I see her there.

The doorbell rings and my mother smiles knowingly at me. It must be dad!

Although it is a little weird that he rings the doorbell. He owns this house, of course he has a key.

"I'll get it. Stay here, sweetheart." mother puts a pointer finger on her lips before kissing the top of my head.

I hide behind the sofa, giggling as I watch my mother walk towards the double doors. I can't wait to see my dad's face when we surprise him.

But as soon as she opens them, the wide smile on her face disappears. What's going on?

Two unknown men push their way into the house and I hide away almost completely, watching their moves. They push my mother onto the couch as she screams.

One of them goes to shut the front entrance and neither of them seem to acknowledge my presence in the same room.

What are they doing to my mother?

She screams and screams but I don't know what to do to help her. The two men are now unbuckling their belts and blocking my view of mother.

All I can see is the back of the two men.

Soon enough a piece of clothing falls right in front of the sofa I'm hiding behind: my mother's dress.

Her screams are now muffled and the two men are taking turns doing something I cannot see. As I glance at the clock, it is now 8:26 p.m. and my dad is still not home yet.

Five minutes pass by, and I can hear sirens blaring outside the house.

Blue and red lights reflect through the window and onto the walls. The two men rush their way out of the living room.

They are bad people. They're escaping.

Once they leave the living room, I find my mother with no clothing on, lying on the sofa. She's not moving. Her eyes aren't blinking either.

"Mumma?" I call out, nearing her and shaking her arm. "Mumma, please! Say something!"

Tears run down my cheeks and I can feel them getting warmer.

The doors burst open and policemen fill the house. I can see through the window that the two men have been captured.

But where's my dad?

"Sweetheart," I hear a voice call and I turn to find Liz walking towards me.

"Liz!" I screech, scared to know what's happening. "Mumma won't respond."

She's crying too, shaking her head as she embraces me in her arms.

I can hear the police speaking in the background. "Darren Rosenberg has been killed on his doorstep... Yes, sir. We have them arrested."

"Your mumma's gone, sweetie." Liz whispers in my ear and I'm silent. Muted. I don't know what is there to say about the whole situation.

"Alice Rosenberg has been raped, sir." I hear the police as he talks into the phone.

Liz takes my hand and walks me past all the people, out of the house. The ambulance is here and the women in white carry two bodies out of my home.

Mother and dad are gone.

More tears run down my face and I am left speechless.

I'm now in a car with Liz and her husband. Both of them holding my hands and stroking my hair.

"It's okay, sweetie. We're right here. We're here for you."

Everything's a blur.

We drive away and I look back, the people filling the house and the situation is chaotic.

I find it hard to understand what is going on but Liz says it's none of my business and brings me to her house.

"We'll go back and take all your stuff tomorrow, okay?" she says as she sits me on the sofa in her living room.

"But why? Am I staying here?" I ask.

She nods. "This is your new home, Alexandra. Okay? Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

She hugs me and leaves.

I look around the new place. It's much smaller than my house but everything's clean and in place.

As my sight lands in the direction of the kitchen, I find a boy hiding behind the doorway.

"Hello?" I get up, starting towards him. "Don't be shy. I'm a friend."

He slowly walks out and he's just the same height. Although he looks younger.

"What's your name?" I bravely ask.

"Luh..." he fiddles with the hem of his tee shirt. "Luh-Luke."

I smile, putting out a hand for him to shake. His hair color is the same as mine, we might look like twins.

"Hello, Luke. I'm Alexandra. But most of the people who know me call me Alex."

He shakes my hand and only smiles.

"Can't you talk?"

All he does is shake his head and I nod.

"I live here now. Are you Liz's son?"

He nods.

I take his hand and walk with him to the living room. I'm not good at jokes, but I manage to make him laugh a bit.

When Liz comes back, he's already asleep with his head in my lap. He's 9 years old. Just one year younger.

"That's Luke, sweetie. My son."

"I know. He's a very nice boy."

"Yes. Yes he is."

Louis's not 23 fuckers don't lie to me.

This was Alex's past. Now we all know.

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