Don't Break My Hart

Chapter 20

The next couple of days passed by in a blur. I let the others makes the plans without me. They had the military mindset, and I had wanted to spend as much time with Chogan as possible. We sat in his room now, as I watched him carefully bandage himself. Kaito had told us yesterday that it seemed Chogan was healing fast, not as fast as me, but faster than the normal healing rate for a human. He could stagger to the bathroom on his own, which was good, but made my palms sweat every time I saw him stand up.

I wasn't allowed to help him. Kaito and Chogan both scolded me, telling me that Chogan needed to be able to do it own his own. We were heading out in the morning, and I was reluctant to leave him behind, no matter how much he and the others reassured me.

I reached out for him when I noticed he winced as he tugged the bandage in place, but drew back my hand before he caught sight of my movement.

Don't baby him. I scowled to myself. He can handle himself. I don't need to make him feel helpless or unmanly. Or whatever.

A finger flicked my lip. "What's wrong, hellcat? You're biting your lip again." Chogan has finished wrapping his abdomen and was now watching me.

I tried to give a reassuring smile but it came out as a grimace. "I don't want to leave you." My voice cracked at the end.

He held his arms open for me to join him. I crossed the room and tucked myself into him, letting him comfort me even though it should have been the other way around. "I will be okay. I promise."

"You can't promise that. The past two times I let you out of my sight you and Carlos got kidnapped then you got shot. How am I supposed to be okay?" I felt his arms and body stiffen around me and realized what I had let slip.

"You remember that?" He asked hoarsely.

I slowly nodded. "That particular memory came back to me a few days ago. I didn't want to say anything because I still don't remember the others. Bits and pieces of my memory have been coming back, mostly when I'm asleep. Some are hard to put together."

"Maybe I can help." Chogan began stroking my back. "Tell me something you remember that's confusing and maybe I'll be able to figure out the memory for you."

I nodded. Anything to distract me for the next hour. "I keep getting these glimpses of a black dog. Did we have a dog?"

"You did." Chogan hesitated before continuing. "Ethan killed him."

A pang of sorrow hit me in the chest, but without my memory, I didn't feel the devastation I knew should be there. Which only succeeded in making guilt hit me like a brick wall.

As if reading my mind, or maybe the look on my face, Chogan kissed the tip of my nose. "It'll be okay. Your memories will come back in time, and maybe it's a good thing you don't have that particular memory back yet. You don't need to be distracted before you go to the farm with the others."

I snuggled deeper into his chest, knowing I needed to get up and make sure everything I needed was prepared for tomorrow, but I had this awful feeling something wasn't right. My unnatural instinct made me want to drag Chogan along with us rather than leave him behind, but he was still too weak to move around for long periods of time much less fight off biters or military men set out to kill us.

Kaito came in the room. I sat up with Chogan following my example. Hey you two. Atalia, you need to pack a bag. Rowan also has something for you and wants to talk. Chogan, I want to make sure you can clean and re-bandage your wound before we leave.

I relayed the message to Chogan before sighing dramatically and standing. My limbs creaked as I stood and stretched. Shoulders slightly slumped, I left the room to find Grumpy.