The Rant Book

R3 Crushes

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING RANT CONTAINS MANY SHERLOCK REFERENCES. IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE SHOW, FEEL FREE TO GO AND WATCH IT AT MY RECOMMENDATION. ALSO, IF YOU HAVE WATCHED IT, FEEL FREE TO ENJOY THIS.

(Well, you don't really need to watch Sherlock to understand this but it's a great show.)

You know, if you were to ask people to describe their crush in one word, their response would be like this:

"Amazing."

"Tom Hiddlestone."

"Romantic."

"Handsome."

"Benedict Cumberbatch."

"Funny."

And there's people like me who say,

"Fictional."

Hey, I'd like to go on a romantic date with my crush on valentines day as much as the next person but sadly, my crush lives either in a book, manga, anime, video game, T.V series or movie. (I'm looking at you Mr. Holmes. And Loki. And Sebastian Michaelis. And Jem Carstairs. Yeah this could go on forever but let's quit while we're ahead, shall we?)

I don't realky have a point with this rant other than the fact that everyone I know seems to be going crazy over their crushes and then there's me in a corner reading Fanfiction and dreaming about the day I'll go to Afghanistan as an army doctor, then come back to London and share my apartment with a high functioning sociopa- WAIT A MINUTE! This sounds a lot like the story line of that awesome BBC T.V series Sherlock.

Shameless product placement, I know. But funnily enough I'm not even being payed to do this. I'm a fully qualified and self proclaimed Sherlockian and Cumberb*tch. Or Cumberperson as Benedict prefers.

Anyway, one of my friends asked me whether or not she should start watching Sherlock and I was like,

"Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!"

Then I paused and said,

"Actually, you might want to wait till 2016 because that's when season four is coming out."

So she asked me why and I went,

"Well, the thing is. A new season of Sherlock hearts released every two years."

Her response,

"That's stupid."

That's stupid.

I think she also asked why people wait so long for a season and I sorta went, "Has she even watched Sherlock, oh wait. She hasn't. He doesn't know how bloody awesome it is or how the fandom is full of high functioning sociopaths not psychopaths."

(Do your research Anderson.)

But she said she'd watch it so it's all good. Well, now that I think about it, those weren't her exact words. But let's assume that's what she was trying to convey anyway. Shall we?

Well anyway, as of late I've been getting the urge to rewatch Sherlock but I just haven't been able too. I honestly can't wait for season four and, as you can see, I'm going a little crazy. Apparently, there's some sort of Christmas Special coming out at the end of the year. You know, during Christmas because it's a Christmas Special.

This rant was about crushes wasn't it? So let's get back to that.

I have a problem, I think, that I can't tell the different between liking someone of finding them attractive. I mean, I have more than 60 anime crushes. (Yes, I have counted. I did it in order to prove a point to a friend. And let's just say, the point was proved.) But let's not even delve into to the topic and whole span (meaning books, films, TV shows) of Fictional crushes.

Moving on, I'm not exactly sure what I'm meant to do with a crush. Do I wait for him to fall in love with me? Take him out to dinner to convince him that his limp is psychosomatic? Get him to write a blog about me? Catch a killer with him?

I guess that what I'm trying to say is that I'm perfectly content with just having fantasies about my amazing, romantic, funny and above all Fictional Crushes. (I mean, what else is Fanfiction for? Amiright?)

So, the moral of the story is:

Boys, if a fangirl finds you attractive, be incredibly flattered because her standards are high. Like constantly unattainable high.

Hope that this was midly amusing,
Kuro, out!