Hotchniss Challange: Sad/Whump OTP

9. "I'm begging you, please don't lock yourself in your room."

They're exhausted.

Two cases back to back, moving from five dead teenagers to three dead eight-year-old boys. They're dead on their feet. Emotions are high and she slips up.

He's reaching for his wine glass, the wine she poured. The wine she instead they have."Aaron, we're tense," she purred in his ear. "Have one glass with me, please?" And he can't so no to her. Not even when he's mad. Mad over a stupid argument, he can't even remember how it started.

But he reaches.

And she's tense and she flinches. She can't explain it. Doyle could get violent, his voice got low and Hotch's does too but... Ian only hit her once and despite knowing that Hotch would never- could never, she still flinches. 

If they were tense before, she can't explain the way he looks ages older right before her. His shoulder's sag and he gets small. Not overbearing, loud, or even defensive. He pulls into himself, protectively. "Emily?" his voice is edged with confusion and hurt.

She stands but he takes a stumbling step back, hands raised. "Aaron," she reaches out to touch him, but again he evades her. "Aaron, please. I'm tired- it's stupid-"

His brow is furrowed, his shoulders stiff as boards. "Did he hit you?" His voice is low, hurt. "Did he hit you, Emily?"

She shakes her head, "no." And they both she's lying so she quickly amends, "yes but it was only once-"

Hotch turns his back to her, hands going to his hair. He runs them tiredly over his face, eyes rimmed with agitation as he holds back his tears. "Why didn't you tell me?" his voice wavers. "I would understand, Emily! I mean, out of everyone, I would understand!"

She wants to keep her calm, the cool head that her training was supposed to provide but she can't. She wants this to die right here and right now and she knows he won't let it and she get angry. And she snaps back. She doesn't mean it. "Because of this!" She gestures at him, "because of you!"

She's seething and as she says it, she knows it's the wrong thing to say but she's so mad- "It was one time, Aaron. Once! We were drunk!" Her face steels, her words like punches. "He didn't abuse me. It was a stupid reaction because I'm tired!" She sighs, "I wasn't abused! You were!"

His entire body just... falls. He swallows thickly, eyes sinking to the floor. "I..." he moves to cross his arms over his chest but stops. He's covering his tells because he's protecting himself. Trying to cover up his vulnerability. "I-I..." his breath catches in his chest and he turns quickly. 

He shakes his head and his eyes lock on his office just a room away. He moves for it, pulling his arm out of her grasp when she calls his name. He shuts the office door behind him leaning against the frame as his shakey knees start to give beneath him. 

"Aaron!" She tries to open the door, he can feel it push against his back. "Please, Aaron. Don't lock yourself in there."

He can feel himself hyperventilating. He presses his hands to his ears, the right starting to ring and ache. He can't think. He can't breathe.

"I'm begging you, Aaron." She slides down the back of the door, knees pulled up to her chest. "Please, don't lock yourself in there." Face buried in her hands she has to take a deep breath to calm herself. "You're exhausted and if you fall asleep in that office chair one more time you're going to get a permanent creak in your neck." She shakes her head, "and you're getting a little too old to sleep on the floor. Your back-"

The door creaks open and she finds herself staring at him through a tiny slit he's allowed the door to open.

"Hey," she croaks.

He opens the door the rest of the way.

"I'm so sorry," she pulls him to her chest. She soothes the back of his hair down, rubbing his back. "I-I- What I said was awful, so awful. I didn't mean it, Aaron. I just didn't want to tell you because I knew it would upset you." 

He leans into her, their cheeks pressed together as he buries his face in her collar. "It's okay," he breathes, looping her arms around her.

"No, it's not." She pulls from his embrace, taking his face in her hands. "I hurt you and you don't have to forgive me just because we're both crying." She wipes his tears away with her thumb, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

He nods, "ok." He leans forward, pressing his face back to her chest and wrapping his arms around her. "You promise it was only once?"

She sighs, running her hands through his hair. "Only once and we were both very drunk and he didn't mean it." Pulled against his furnace-like warmth she can feel herself becoming drowsy. "Will you come to bed?"

He hesitates but he's exhausted too and could really use a recovery cuddle. He nods, rubbing at his eyes. 

She stands on her tiptoes, kissing him. "Big spoon?" she asks.

He grins a light blush on his cheeks, "little."

Well, since updating this last I have: graduated high school and am now attending college so it's been a hot minute. I'm back now though and I promise to finish. Next is "Don't shut me out" and like always any ideas are greatly appreciated -SH