Pretty mouth || Sanders Sides || Deceit Angst

Pretty Mouth

"Oh why hello there Virgil~" Janus cooed, the smirk plastered onto his face. If anyone looked at the scene, it would have looked like the snake was pestering the raccoon once more but his intentions were much soft and different than it seemed.

It was hard for Janus to suddenly show how he felt, he would keep things to himself, telling lies that he loved himself, keeping his pride high, yet. It was all a lie. It humored the deceitful trait even he could fool himself with his own lies, he could taste other lies yet he simply could not taste his own lies, it was a curse rather than a gift.
  "What do you want" The raccoon rolled his eyes. What was he going to say?

  "Oh I just hate to see you like this" It was a truth that sounded like a lie, oh how he saw the face in Virgil's eyes, pain and anger. His facade left his face, why is he so defensive? Why couldn't he let others in just like morality would? He felt as if the world had been dumped onto him, needing to carry it, and if not, millions would die.
  "Leave" Janus could heat the hurt in Virgil's voice, he winced.
  "As you don't wish~" Janus left, his heart raced quickly, he couldn't breathe.

It was so easy to deceive the other sides, but his facade disappeared, he had many bruises and cuts on his skin, some were burnt marks. Recent or not it still hurt remembering it.
  "Why why why why-" Janus sniffed, shaking let grabbing the knife he had under his pillow, his hands trembling as he pulled the soothing fabric. He saw the cuts, they were mostly a week ago, every time he had tried his hands were too weak to respond.
  "Why why why why!" Janus screamed as he sobbed even more. Nobody would hear him. His room was sound proof.

Janus tried, he tried to cut himself but his hands wouldn't respond and only dropped the knife, his whole body trembling, why couldn't he do it? He was fat, useless, a excuse of a side, he was never loved.
  "Fuck fuck fuck fuck-" Janus breathed, he breathed while counting to ten, it didn't work- it always did but it seemed his heart wouldn't be listening.

Janus wished he could say the things he wanted.
  "I want to spend time with you.. Please?" Was what he wished to say but instead he had said something that had hurt the other. How would he ask? Anxiety slowly took over, and once it did. He was left out. Virgil couldn't feel his anxiety, he was deception, he could fake the aura he gave off, it was so very easy.

"I'm sorry.." Janus cried before he fell asleep. Tomorrow will be another failure.

Even if he tried, he could never admit he wanted to be with Virgil.

Because they could never be what they used to.

Because he is a failure of a side.

I'm sorry.

A bit of a vent book. Sorry-