Technical Difficulties (Brother's Conflict)

Chapter 16!

I just reread some of the last few chapters to get a feel for things after being absent for so long and I realized that chapter 14 is the only chapter for a while that doesn't have Nageki in it and you can tell my heart wasn't in it while I wrote it also the longer I look at this chapter the more I hate it so pls take it from me before I delete my entire account in a fit of depression

After explaining there had been some trouble at work, she departed for the station by herself and was picked up by Nageki on arrival. "Hello again, Kitten."

"It's barely been three weeks you know." His only response was a grin, from there it was a silent ride back to his apartment. It was rare though, almost worrying for him not to have something to quickly say back to her or some action to make her flustered, maybe he had been tired too. They arrived without any trouble and though the silence wasn't tense, on her end it was uncomfortable to not have any idea what he was thinking. Mei couldn't really name that feeling in her chest, even though she knew it was something that her pain medication wouldn't be able to fix.

They took off their shoes in the doorway, Mei finally taking initiative to speak and fill the silence. "Do you have any food in your house or is it the usual?"

"Why?" He hadn't turned to face her when he spoke, even though he usually found pleasure in looking her in the eyes, she knew something about them being mismatched made him oddly happy.

"Because I'm planning on making you dinner, brat. If you eat one more container of take out I'm sure your arteries will start clogging up so I'm lending you my cooking services." There was a big pause after that, no comeback, no eye contact, no acknowledgement. He seemed to just be staring off at the wall in front of him and ignoring her, but he'd never done that even when they had first met he always had at least acknowledged her speaking. "Nageki? What're you-"

Suddenly he turned around, startling her as within seconds he'd wrapped his arms around her, practically sweeping her off her feet between his strength and their height difference. She felt him take a shaky breath right in the crook of her neck, one of his hands pulling her up by her back and the other holding her head to his chest. "Sorry, I wasn't entirely honest on the phone Kitten."

Her brain was still too tired and delirious to try and identify what was going on, but her working brain cells did convince her arms to wrap around his neck bringing him impossibly closer. "Did something happen?"

"A long time ago I guess." She tightened her grip, she'd only heard it once or twice, that amount of emotion in his voice. They were there in the quiet for a while, neither having the heart to pull away from such an inviting embrace. Mei really wasn't sure what else she could do but hold him tightly, assuring him that she was still there and that she planned on always being there.

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Later that night they laid together in Nageki's bed, the same slightly saddened silence was hanging around in the air and hadn't gotten much better. Mei was laying her head on his chest like she always did, with his arms wrapped around her but from the start things were still different. She recognized it, how it was so similar to those feelings she had pushed down into her nightmares so long ago, it was a desperation for contact--for something to affirm that he really was alive. "I.."

She tilted her head slightly to look up at him as he began to speak, the vibrations of his chest almost startled her. "Around this time, when I was fourteen, I was home alone with my mother."

She settled back on his chest and almost immediately he seemed to calm himself by running his fingers through her long black tresses. "I was playing with the cat we'd had at the time that I'd pick up off the street, sickly with black fur, one blue eye and one green. I didn't ever get the chance to name it before my father had told me to get rid of it, but it was a good distraction for a while."

Mei remembered the few times he'd mentioned his father in the past, it was always disdain on the verge of pure anger just at the thought of the man. She knew it was because of his father's cold treatment of both himself and his mother that things in his young life were so painful, and why he'd had such a similar attitude when they'd first met, but he'd never gone into what exactly happened that pushed everything over the edge. "Things like that had been piling up for years, my mother...she really did love him, with everything she had. She didn't even consider cheating on him even though I'm sure he did regularly, she really was the kind of person that could calm the whole atmosphere of a room. My father had even said himself that he always felt too relaxed when he was around her."

"Maybe it was because of that loneliness and all of the things that were caused because of it that she chose to give up. We were home alone together and she hung herself a few rooms away in that way too large house, I didn't even notice until I couldn't find anything to feed the cat and went to ask her if we could go to the store." He let out a shaky sigh, as though he could still see it and he was staring right at the scene right at that moment, despite the fact that it had been almost ten years. "She..she really couldn't ignore it, the fact that I looked just like him. It was all she ever mentioned, or at least all I can remember. But for the longest time, she assured me that was plenty, that she could keep going as long as she could see him in me. So no matter what she did I.."

His hand had slackened in her hair a long time ago, making it easy for her to sit up completely despite having to slip out of his grasp to do so. Mei didn't have to listen a moment longer, she'd heard enough to know there wasn't more that should be said all at once. She cupped his face in her pale hands, even in the dark knowing before she had touched them that there were tears running down his face. She brushed them away with her thumbs, before leaning forward and leaning her forehead on his. "I'm right here, no matter what it is, just remember I'm here. Please."

He let out another shaky sigh as the last of the tears fel, his hands on top of her's on his face. "I know, Kitten. I promise."

It was a while before they settled into their usual position again, though it felt a lot closer than it ever had. She was surprised she had lasted this long in the dark, a familiar numbness creeping up her limbs as she started to completely lose function. It was just before that exhaustion consumed her that she was able to mutter, "Try to sleep, trying to think instead of napping doesn't suit you."

She didn't get to see the gentle smile on his face from her comment as she drifted off.