In an Instant // ᵈʳᵃᶜᵒ ᵐᵃˡᶠᵒʸ

the lost boy

"Why are you avoiding me?" I slammed my hands on the table Draco was sitting at, reading a book, angrily.

The first two weeks of October passed, and since that night, Draco did not speak to me. Not once. He didn't glance in my direction, didn't playfully bicker, didn't even show up to tutoring on Sundays by our tree. At first, I was unfazed, distracting myself with a Saturday night Hogsmeade trip and my family and classes. But it didn't take long for me to start worrying, so much that Harry tried to dig out of me what was wrong a couple of times.

I was on the verge of telling him, but I knew my brother well- when he hated someone, he hated them, and unless you had a twelve paged paper with a strong thesis and conclusion and at least twenty supporting arguments, he would not change his mind.

And then my worry turned into hot anger that flared as each day passed. How dare he take advantage of me like that? How dare he use me when I was most vulnerable, how dare he make my heart flutter and pour kindness into my ears; how dare he do all that and then pretend I don't exist?

I would not take it; Not for one second more.

So that's how I ended up on the second Saturday morning of October in the library, palms slammed on the table, where I had waited for Draco Malfoy to be left alone by Chris and Crabbe and Goyle.

"I'm not avoiding you." He said stiffly, not even bothering to look up from his book.

"Draco Malfoy you put that book down right now and look me in the eye." I was fuming, so angry that I could feel the heat on my cheeks and the twitching of my brow.

He ignored me, continuing to read his book as if I wasn't even there. I was so outraged that my hands were shaking at this point.

"Accio book!" I yelled, and his book was swiftly thrown out of his hands and zoomed into mine.

That got his attention. His head snapped up, lips curled into annoyance.

"Who do you think you are?!" He stood up swiftly, almost toppling the chair behind him. As quickly and quietly as possible, I cast a muffliato charm before angrily marching right to him, not stopping until our noses were almost touching.

"Who do I think I am?! Who do I think I am?!" I jabbed a finger to his chest, so forcefully he had to take a step back. "I, Draco, am the one who held you in her arms that night and comforted you, when I could've left your sorry arse on the floor alone! I am the one who keeps forgiving you again," I pushed his chest again, "and again and again and again! I am the only one who has ever decided to look a little deeper, and all you do is pretend I don't exist?!"

He seemed at a loss for words, jaw twitching, guilt in his eyes.

"That's right! You've got nothing to say. Who in the hell do you think you are?! If you just push everyone good away from you, you are going to die very, very lonely, Draco Malfoy. So you look at me in the eye, right now, and you tell me why the hell you're avoiding me!"

"I'm terrified, alright!" He yelled, towering over me, forcing me to take a step back. He ran a hand through his hair as if he was frustrated, as he said, "I'm bloody terrified of you and your stupid feelings and your stupid eyes and- and-"

"Why the hell are you afraid of me?"

"Because I'm a coward, Belle." He looked almost angry at himself, "I'm a sodding coward and I can't afford I can't afford all these- these- goddamn emotions because I've got to make my father proud! I've got to! And you-" He stepped even closer to me, fire blazing in his eyes, "you have got to stop trying to- to- make me better, alright! Just stop it! I'm supposed to be cruel and evil and vile because if i'm not I'll be weak. So just stop it! Stop trying to figure me out!"