Withered Love (Jeff the Killer x Jane the Killer)

Chapter 12: Dilemma

They were playing 17 by Social Siberia. Jeff's favourite song. He used to hum it with his eyes closed. His voice was always soft and boyish, so full of dreams and energy. He told me that he wanted to leave home at seventeen and take me with him. We would graduate from high school then. He would get into college and study graphic designs. One day, he would become a graphic designer for animations and video games. He was talented in drawing. He had got all these brilliant and creative ideas in his head. He could spend hours on a masterpiece. He wanted everything to be beautiful. Just like how he used to be.

He abandoned that dream the moment he embraced his new face. He never talked about leaving home, getting into college and becoming a graphic designer anymore. We wouldn't even mention school.

Liu ordered a cup of hot mocha. I settled with some warm chocolate. The window was coated with frost. It had started to snow outside.

This could be time for us to burn the world and kiss it goodbye.

"Jane, you're cold," said Liu. He touched my dry, swollen cheek. He quickly removed his scarf and wrapped it around my neck. The wool was filled with his scent. I automatically buried my face in it. My expression was blank and hollow.

Liu cut the cheese cake into equal slices and placed on my plate. He smiled and handed me the dessert. I shook my head and stared down at my trembling hands. I hadn't been feeling that well recently.

Liu put down the cake and scooted closer to me. He stroked my hair and gently laid my head on his shoulder. He didn't eat the cake either. For a long moment, we just sat there and listened to the song.

Give me some time and I will waste it all on, waste it all on somebody else.

Maybe it was wrong from the very beginning. Maybe they shouldn't have come into this neighbourhood. Maybe I shouldn't have got acquainted with them.

From the moment they entered this place, our fates were intertwined.

There was no turning back.

"You know," Liu said, running his thin, long fingers through my locks, "I really wish we could stay like this forever."

He held me close. I didn't have the strength to resist. I knew he had never stopped loving me.

But my heart could never belong to him. I would always keep his hopes up and then trample on his feelings. My inability to push him away was my greatest sin. I broke down and told him the truth. The truth that I was pregnant.

Liu didn't react. He was unexceptionally calm when he heard the news. He kept me in his arms.

"Don't tell Jeff," I begged. "Please keep this a secret."

"Why?" asked Liu.

"I don't want him to know yet. He has had enough to deal with."

"What about you, Jane?" Liu frowned. "How're you even going to handle this?"

I was lost. A part of me just wanted to give up on everything and disappear forever. A part of me though was crying inside. Fallen and torn.

"It's fine," Liu reassured. "I'll be here for you. Don't worry."

I knew he would stay. He would always stay even if it meant for him to get his heart broken thousand times. His soul was tormented by his loyalty to Jeff and his mind was completely wrecked by me. And yet, he never left or even complained about a single tear.

"Let's finish the cake and I'll take you to my brother," Liu said. "He wants to see you so badly."

He picked up the fork and cut the cake into even smaller pieces. He fed me gently.