Following the Stars

Chapter Four

We walked back to the restaurant in silence.

"How did dinner go?" Bellamy asked.

I walked straight past him to go upstairs and change back into my midnight blue vest and black jeans.

When I walked back down, I ran into Jordan and Delilah on their way down from the roof.

"Hey Sky, how'd it go?"

I walked straight past them through the door to go outside.

When I felt the cold air hit my face, I still kept walking until I reached a fairly tall tree secluded from the village and climbed up.

Only then did I let everything start to crumble.

My hands started shaking and my breath caught in my throat. Tears leaked out of my eyes as I buried my face in my hands.

"I heard what happened," Bellamy whispered, "What's wrong."

My voice was shaking, "They're kicking us out because of Mount Weather."

"So we survive," Bellamy said, "There's enough room on this planet for another Sanctum, so we fight-"

"Maybe Luna was right. Maybe the fight is all we are," I broke even further.

Bellamy frowned, "We fight to survive, then we find our humanity."

"I'm tired of fighting all the time!" I nearly shouted, "I'm tired of always looking over my shoulder and always being scared. I'm tired of hiding and killing and justifying it."

There was so much.

"I'm tired of the ends justifying the means. I'm tired of it always being to save my people," I continued, "I'm tired of losing people. I can't do this anymore."

"We just have to fight a little longer," Bellamy persuaded.

I shook my head, "That's what I said to make myself feel better for twelve years. It never got any better."

"You can't give up," Bellamy said, "We all need to work together if we want to survive."

"Life should be about more than just surviving," I could not believe I was quoting Lexa.

He looked at me in disbelief.

"Next time we find somewhere safe to stay," I jumped down from the tree, drying my eyes, "Let's try not to destroy it. Let's try to do better."

"So are you okay?" Bellamy asked.

No. I was certainly not okay. I was beyond 'not okay'.

"I'm fine," I lied as I walked back to the restaurant.

But I heard a scream, "Delilah!"

"That can't be good," I followed the sound of Clarke's screams.

At that moment, I wished I had my swords. The steak knife I 'borrowed' from dinner would have to do for now.

"I miss my gun," Bellamy said.

Here, only the guard had weapons, and those were just metal spears.

Better that than nothing.

"We'll get our weapons back when they kick us out," I replied.

Hopefully.

I was a fast runner from years of practice, so I arrived nearly a whole minute before Bellamy.

"Get Delilah back to Sanctum," I said, taking out the steak knife.

Clarke nodded and picked up a paralyzed Delilah, carrying her towards Bellamy.

"You don't know what you're doing," the man who kidnapped her growled.

He punched me square in the nose, making it bleed black blood. I smiled at his horror, "Run or die."

"I don't run," he growled, "Not if it gives them another host."

A host?

I shrugged, "Your funeral."

Lashing out with the knife, I blocked his dagger attacks. He was swift, and probably lethal against most.

The knife flew out of my hand into the bushes further away.

That would actually work in my favor when I needed to explain why I stole a knife.

This guy was a good fighter, but I was curious whether or not he'd actually kill me because I was a 'host', whatever that meant.

So I let him pull me into a chokehold.

To my surprise, he shouted, "Death to Primes!" It made me flinch a little, since he shouted in my ear.

The dagger slid towards my throat, but I elbowed him in the stomach with such force that he stumbled backwards, dropping the dagger.

It didn't even touch the ground.

I caught it and plunged it into his heart, "I'm no Prime."

Whatever a Prime was, anyway. I guessed maybe it had something to do with my blood.

So I took a piece of cloth from his shirt and wiped away the blood from my nose.

I then dipped my finger in his blood and smeared a bit of it down from my nose, replacing the black stains from my blood.

"Are you okay?" Bellamy ran over, having helped Clarke hand Delilah to the guards.

"I'm fine," I snapped, walking away.

If we wanted to do better, then why didn't I just slice his leg and stop the bleeding, keep him here until the guards could arrest him?

I knew the answer.

The fight is who I am. Without it, I am nothing. So why did I want to get rid of it?

Russel appeared, "Thank you for saving Delilah. In exchange for this, we cannot keep you here in Sanctum forever."

So why was he even talking?

"But," he continued, "We invite you to Delilah and Rose's naming day celebration, and you can stay in Sanctum until you have built your own."

What?

"We will send people to teach you how to build a radiation dome and we will help you make another city."

That was beyond what I expected.

"Thank you," Clarke stuttered, "We will build as fast as possible to get out of your way, but thank you."

I looked between her and Bellamy in disbelief. They were letting us stay until we built our own safe place.

A safe place.

The others could design their houses however they wanted, but I would make sure mine was next to that lake.

A small wooden house with a nice kitchen with a backyard opening up to the lake.

The dome keeping us safe during the eclipses.

The riverside would smell like fish whether the others liked it or not.

But the house?

The house would smell like cinnamon. Just like that cinnamon spice that was always all over the floor when my mother would cook with me.

The garden outside would smell like rosemary and fresh cut summer grass. Like when my father would trim the trees and bushes outside the house, then cut the grass when it got too tall.

And it would be just like home.