The Darkest of Days

part eleven

Amy was talking to Jake.

He obviously wasn't talking back, but she still held out hope to get a reaction from him.

She had read somewhere that talking to someone in his sort of state might help him wake up sooner than letting him wake up on his own.

It had been three more days since the last code he ran, since his second surgery and it seemed like he was doing better. They had even taken out his breathing tube yesterday and it hadn't caused him to go into respiratory arrest. He still had a nasal cannula on because his stats had dropped slightly when they took the tube out again, but it didn't go down so much they had to intubate again.

She still had her fingers crossed that he was past the stage of having a breathing tube in for good this time. She hated seeing him like that, but don't get her wrong she hates seeing him how he is right now too, however when he had the breathing tube in he looked so vulnerable and it broke her heart. Now it kinda just looks like when he got hit by that car in AC.

The doctor said the next step for him was to wake up, but he didn't say when that would be. He always gave a date when things were gonna happen, he did when they agreed to try and take his breathing tube out again, but this time was on Jake and when he chose to wake up which, as Amy had said, could take a while.

So that's why she's sat intently by the side of his bed. She's hardly moved in three days, she only does to go to the bathroom every few hours because she wants to be in there when he wakes up. She doesn't want him to wake up on his own, not after everything else he's been through.

But yet she doesn't know when that will be.

Karen and Roger had dropped off Mac for the day yesterday, staying in the room during the duration as well. They had been keeping him on a router with Terry for the past week because it wasn't fair to keep him in the hospital for god knows how much longer.

Though Amy wasn't sure how much she could have missed one baby but apparently it was a lot. Apparently it was a hell of a lot.

It seems as though Mac had been missing her too. He had broken out in one of the biggest smiles the two-month-old had ever shone the moment he was close enough to register her face.

What broke her heart even more though was that Mac had reached that point where he knew their faces, and there had been several times where he had clocked Jake's face and tried to lunge out to be in his father's arms. There had even been a frustrated tantrum from the infant when Amy had to keep pulling him away so he wouldn't knock anything. 

Holt and Kevin had stopped by and had dropped off a card and flowers, as well as a stuffed get well soon bear for Jake or Mac depending on who got to it first (Mac did because, well, Jake hadn't woken up yet).

Charles had offered to make something for Amy to eat in the hospital but the moment he started talking about erotic animal parts, she shot him down, saying that it wasn't necessary.

And after a long few days trying to reach Gina she finally picked up her phone. As it turns out Iggy had been playing around on it and had put it down the toilet and it took days just to get a new one because apparently the place had been packed leading up to the holidays. She had come over the moment she got the call, apologizing for not threatening the clerk at the store even more than she had. It was actually a struggle for the doctors to get Gina to leave in the first place.

The only way that was possible was the promise that Amy would text Gina the moment Jake woke up, and she intends to keep that promise. Amy's got her phone sat right beside her in case it happens.

There was still the steady beeping coming from the monitor beside the bed. At first Amy thought it would become obnoxious but as it turns out it was kinda relaxing. At least that way she knew he was alright. As long as the beeping was steady and continuous and there weren't any alarms coming from this room, everything was alright.

Jake's hands were cold. They had been outside of the blanket the entire time and if she put them under the blanket it would mean she wouldn't be able to keep a grasp on them or see them because what it they moved?

She hadn't let go of his hand in days, she couldn't find it in herself to do it. Whether he was in some sort of coma or not, she needed him to know that she wasn't leaving his side.

It had been a week. A week since he had left the apartment with a large smile on his face as he said goodbye to herself and Mac. A week since she got the worst voicemail of her life. A week since she had seen Jake in anything other than a hospital gown and bed, with wires and tubes attached to poles and monitors and ventilators.

A week already.

Part of her thinks it's gone a little quickly, sitting in the same hospital room with her heart in her throat half of the time, but then the other part thinks it's been the longest week of her life.

Amy was still talking, rambling on about the interaction that had happened between Mac and him the day before. If anything she was just hoping that the more she spoke the more likely it was that that research was true - that he would wake up sooner.

"If you were awake you wouldn't have shut up about the fact Mac was crying for your attention." She says, a small smile creeping along her face as she knows that is exactly what Jake would do.

"He misses you, he might not be able to say that he does but I can tell," she adds quietly, giving Jake's hand a quick squeeze, "But at least I can say I miss you."

It's silent for a brief moment, Amy dropping her gaze to her lap before she whips her head up again when she feels something.

It was stronger than just a reflex, something she had come to know how it felt very well. She swears it wasn't a reflex. She hopes to god it wasn't just a reflex.

Then it happens again, this time a little bit stronger than the first time.

This wasn't a reflex, it can't be.

Jake had to actually be squeezing her hand back. He just had to be.

But yet she doubted herself. She had gotten her hopes up before only to have them crash down on her again so tight she could barely breathe. She doesn't want to have that feeling again.

So she doesn't let herself get her hopes up again. He doesn't move again though, he doesn't squeeze her hand or twitch his fingers. He's just still. So she sighs to herself and blames those damned reflexes.

That is until his head starts moving too.

It scares her at first, but quickly she starts talking to him again, squeezing his hand and hoping to get a reaction and sure enough, she did. She watches with anticipation as he slowly begins waking up, opening his eyes only to shut them mere milliseconds afterwards.

"Why is it so bright in here?" He asks, his voice hoarse and dry.

A grin grows wide on her face as she's finally able to hear her husband's voice again, despite it being a little different to what it had been. "Because it's twelve-thirty in the afternoon."

Jake's eyes, while only half-open, seem to widen slightly. "It was nine at night."

Amy shrugs lightly. "Well you've basically been in a coma-like state for the past week."

"Wait. What?" Jake questions, shock filling his voice and replacing the dryness from before.

Amy's face drops a little, her eyebrows furrowing closer together. "You got shot, Jake, do you not remember?"

He nods slowly. "Yeah, I remember," he says quietly. "I'm sorry, by the way."

There's a pause. Amy can't help the smile creep along her face as she just looks to him. Part of her doesn't believe that he's actually awake. "For what?" She wonders, giving his hand another squeeze.

He gives her a weak smile. "I didn't get home at six."

Amy quickly shakes her head. "I don't care, you're okay, that's all that matters."