Call Me Crazy

H

dys·func·tion·al
/ˌdisˈfəNG(k)SH(ə)nl/
adjective
1.not operating normally or properly.
2.deviating from the norms of social behavior in a way regarded as bad.

My siblings never understood why I act the way I do when I'm outside.

They say I'm being silly, for proving people right about me. They say I shouldn't make society believe I am crazy, when I'm not. They say I should act normal, like how I am at house.

But at house, or outside, I do not believe in normal.

Normal is a setting on a washing machine.

I do not aspire to be normal. However, I do aspire to be left alone. If acting "abnormal" achieves that- then I will do what I must. 

"You aren't listening, are you?" My five year old brother folds his arms. 

I snap back into focus, patting his head to let him know I was.

"Yeah, right." Nico rolls his eyes. "Anyways, I was saying how Sissy came late to pick me up. You should've came instead."

He pouts, shooting a dark look to his older sister at the other side of the room.

Ysabelle sticks her tongue. "I snuck out of detention for your bratty self, mutt. Be grateful."

I turn toward her from my position on the living room love seat, raising an eyebrow. She sighs. "Ugh. It was no big deal, really."

Seeing my stare not waver, she throws her hands up. "Okay, okay! I kicked a boy in the shin and he got dramatic and snitched. The big wuss." She hmph's and slouches in her seat. "I didn't even kick him that hard."

"What'd you kick him for?" Nico ask curiously. 

"I just felt like it. I didn't know he was such a wimp." She rolls her eyes. "Boys."

"You can not just be violent whenever you feel like it, Belle." My oldest sister Nova walks in. "Everyone is going to start to avoid you."

Ysabelle gives me a look. "I don't see a problem."

Nova follows her gaze to me and sighs. "You are insufferable. How was school?" She asks me.

I shrug, before signing, 'New boy. He talked to me.'

Ysabelle scoffs. "What? Another bully? Don't they have lives or som-"

I wave my hands, shaking my head. 'Nice.'

"Honest?" Nova raises an eyebrow. "Well, let us hope he stays that way."

Nico tugs at my hair. I wince before turning to him. He frown. "I can't understand when you talk away from me."

I pat his head before fully facing him. 'I met a nice boy at school.' I sign slowly.

He looks up at me. confused. "They got nice people at school?"

I twist my mouth. The boy hasn't even entered real school yet, and he already has bad thoughts about it. And it's my fault.

"Not everyone is mean, Nicky." Nova pulls him towards her and hoists him onto her lap. "It is just that, not everyone is nice either." She nuzzles his nose against hers. "You have to learn to choose wisely."

And if you don't, your entire world can be turned upside down. Nova doesn't say that though- not that she ever would. But it's true. Trust the wrong people and you could lose everything. 

Maybe, it's better not to choose at all. Trusting no one is the most effective way to not trust the wrong person. It's foolproof. 

But it's also lonely. But I'd take lonely over broken any day. It's a sacrifice I was willing, and did make.