do you want me (dead?) [DISCONTINUED]

chapter nineteen

Minho nodded. Jisung's heart kept on beating harshly in his chest. It almost hurt. And it felt like it would jump out of his ribcage. Minho was once again biting his lip, glancing at Jisung. He was fidgeting were he sat.

"I-I should go..." Minho stuttered. Jisung nodded hurridely. The older boy gazed at him through half lidded eyes, his gaze momentarly flickering to Jisung's lips. It was quiet for a few seconds, the two boys just staring at each other.

Angel jumped out of Jisung's lap and tip toed away into the kitchen. The two boy followed the cat. When she was out of sight they locked eyes again. The younger boy's heart skipped a beat.

Minho stood up from where he sat and walked up to Jisung. His hands cupped the blonde boy's face. Even though Jisung really shouldn't have been tingling and all excited he was. For God's sake, he was supposed to hate Minho. He was supposed to kill the guy.

Yet there he was, desperatly pressing his lips against Minho's. Jisung stood up, only to get pushed down into the couch again. Minho held him close, probably so close that he could hear Jisung's beating heart.

Once again, when Minho's lips left his to travel to his neck, Jisung realised how wrong this was. The older boy shouldn't like him. And Jisung shouldn't be doing this.

But it was so hard to resist Minho, so hard to not give in to the older boy. Minho's firm hands made Jisung feel weak and the older's soft lips made his skin tingle. Minho made him dizzy with feelings.

Minho pulled away, hovering an inch over Jisung's face. His black bangs brushed Jisung's forehead. The younger boy felt weird. His face was flushed red and his neck littered with redish marks. He couldn't look Minho in the eyes.

"I'm sorry..." Minho whispered. Jisung wanted to tell Minho to not apoligise but he couldn't talk. It was quiet around them. The older boy parted from Jisung, standing up. The younger boy laid still like a toy, not moving an inch.

"Are y-you okay?" Minho asked, brushing Jisung's hair out of his eyes. Jisung nodded quickly. He sat up, then standing up beside Minho. The older boy once again went back to being shy, scratching his neck. Jisung wondered how the older boy could be so bashful but then so undeniably confident.

"I should go." Minho said again. Jisung nodded once again. This time they walked out to the hall. Minho's gaze lingered on Jisung's lips and neck before he opened the door. A slight smile palyed on his lips. Jisung just felt tired. Tired of feelings.

"Can I ask you a question?" Minho asked, smiling wider. Jisung just nodded. "Do you want to go on a date this Sunday?"

Jisung almost choked on the air he was breathing. Almost.

First he was about to decilne because the things Minho was doing to him made him worried and extremely dizzy, but then he remebered that he has to kill Minho. And gaining Minho's trust and getting to know him was the perfect way to killing him.

I just need to get to know him a little more, Jisung thought as he nodded.

☆

hello :) i'm very sorry for not updating in a long time. the thing is that i have no motivation to write and then i don't want to write because i feel like the things i write become shit. so i'm going go on hiatus for a while, and this book won't be updated. i don't know for how long but i will continue writing someday, i promise.
have a nice day!

Published: 15 July 2020