DIO sits in his bedroom, Jotakak fanfic in one hand, cum chalice in the other, and it was fucking great, but then his stomach rumbled. Shit. It's EATIN' TIME!
He threw all of his shit across the room as so and ran to his car, not caring if it's 4 am. He's a vampire for fuck's sake. But anyway once he got to his car that I hope you haven't forgotten about he fuckin' tears the door open and went inside, immediately turning the ignition keys or something to start his car.
As soon as the car started, he backed out of his driveway and proceeded to drive to McDona-- oh fuck! OH FUCK! McDonald's had been explodeded.
Since McDonald's has died he drives to Burger King instead. "I can't fucking wait to eat a whopper!" He says out loud to himself for some reason because JoJo characters tend to do that a lot.
He does a complete 180 and drives towards the Burger King where he was to get his sandwich. He turns on the radio and his favorite song, Clit Fuckwoodn't, started to play. "Aw fuck yeah! I love this song!" He shouts as he bobs his head and sings the lyrics like a 12 year old's furry oc when literally any song by Jackuru mudafooken Stooberu comes on.
I am British and I'm being held hostage by
A pickle in disguise
As a normal human man
Who worships the Satan man
I am British and I'm being held hostage by
A pickle in disguise
As a normal human man
Who worships the Satan man
The Satan man〜
The Satan man〜
The Satan man〜
The Satan man〜
Before DIO knew it, he had arrived at the Burger King and proceeded into the drive thru.
"Hello welcome to Burger King home of the Burger King. May I take your order?" The employee asks thoughtfully.
"Right uhhhh... Can I get a fucking uhhh..." DIO thought about what he wanted to eat, thottilly. "Uhh... Blood?"
"Right. About that... We ran out of blood." The usless employee says sadly.
"No that's fine. I'll just choose something else." DIO says calmly though internally he was devising a super awesome revenge plan for revenge on the random Burger King employee who did nothing wrong and is a Saint.
"Okay thank you." The employee says stupidly.
"I want a whopper. That's it." DIO confirms.
"That's i--?" The dumb employee is interrupted.
"Yes." DIO confirms yet again to the mentally retarded employee.
"Okay. Your burger will be ready in a minute." Mr. Stupid employee I don't know how to job right, says.
"Okay." DIO okays.
DIO proceeds towards the food recievment window and waits for an employee to emerge and give him his pointless lunch he didn't really need but still wanted nonetheless. The employee emerges with the burger in his hand.
"Thank you. I, DIO would like my sandwich, please, mudamuda WRRRRYYYYYYYYY." DIO says cheerfully.
"Pay me first." The employee's voice echoes menacingly, with these things floating around and being gay ===👉 ゴゴゴゴ.
DIO is disgusted by this employee. 'How DARE he tell I, DIO, to pay for my food that he spent all his time and hard work on!' His brain screamed. Suddenly a dark cloud materializes above his head and the colors go all wacky. "Daga kotowaru." He mumbles.
The employee looks at him, confused. "N-nani?" The confused employee says in a very confusedly confused confused way.
DIO WAS NOW ANGRY "ZA WARUDO! TOKI YO TOMARE!" HE SCREAMEDEDED
Time stops and DIO exits his car and he steals his burger and NIGERUNDAYOS away from the fast food restaurant, throwing a roadroller on the poor, poor stupid employee in the process.
Time proceeds as normal as DIO sits down on a field and opens his burger. A scream could be heard at the fast food place.
"WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" DIO WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS as he opened the usless burger wrapping. "I, DIO, WILL CONSUME THIS BURGER!" DIO shouts.
DIO attempts to take a bite of the burger, but it seemed that a piece went missing. "Nani?" DIO nanis as he tries to take another bite. Another piece went missing. "N-NANIIIIIIII?" DIO nanis louder. A 'yare yare daze' could be heard in the distance. "WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" DIO WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS in concern. "SHOW YOURSELF, FUCKER!" He shouts.
Jotaro emerges from a nearby bush. "Konichiwa" He says cutely in Chinese because he is Chinese.
"THE FUCK? WHO IS YO-- oh wait nvm I remember. I'LL KILL YOU, JOETAROE KUJOE!" DIO EXCLAIMS!
"Yare yare daze." Jotaro says still because he thinks he's so cool and shit. But then his Stand showed up and oraora-ed DIO while DIO screamed "KONO DIO DAAAAAA!" until he died.
After DIO had perished and dropped his burger, Jotaro picked it up and started to eat the burger while moaning because he has a burger fetish now. And Diavolo, who was watching this died, thus making all this canon.
The end.
YOU ARE READING
A Very Detailed Description of DIO Eating a Hamburger
HumorDIO purchases a delicious burger at his local Burger King. But there is trouble along the way. Will he ever be able to eat his burger?
