Splintering Tears

Nihil; Only Memory

(I died emotionally writing this. Im so sorry. I regret my life choices already😖 Hope you enjoy and please don't cry like I did)

(TW: Involves death) sorry for the spoiler, just want to make sure no one sensitive to this topic reads it!

If I fall, please don’t follow
Though I’m gone
You won’t always feel hollow

If I fall, please don’t cry
Though I’m gone
Someday you’ll be fine

-Evelyn-

As soon as I heard the thump on the ground, I knew. My first priority was to try to close the rest of the mirror. Though it was mostly done already, it was a struggle, mainly because I could only think of him. I could’ve saved him.

As soon as it’s shut, I rush over to him and try to heal him. I’m already drained and some of the red welts just won’t go. Aloysius is trying to hold back Sophia. I try to block her out, but her screams are so loud, blaming herself, crying.

‘Stop it, Evelyn. You have to do this.’

Just as I’m spent, Marleen, Marcus, and Jordan rush in. Marleen immediately kneels down beside Gabe, checking his breathing, trying to comfort him….and herself. Jordan carefully carries him down to Gabe's room and Marleen starts treating the wounds that wouldn’t heal. Marcus carries Lilly to her room so she can recover.

The whole house is silent with the exception of Sophia’s whimpering. Allie takes her to her room, away from this.

Marleen is shaking the whole time she’s caring for Gabe. He’s out, but breathing….shallow but breathing.

Once she’s done all she can, she sits down, not taking her eyes off of him. I’m sitting on the floor. My adrenaline rush is starting to fade and I feel myself burning up. As much as I hate leaving Gabe in this state, I don’t feel like consciousness will be on my side within the next few minutes. I get up, black spots clouding my vision, and barely get to my room before everything turns black.

…………

I wake to a wet washcloth on my forehead. Jordan is sitting on my bed, thinking.

“Is Gabe still stable?”

He doesn’t turn to face me.

In a low tone, “Barely. Marls is doing all she can.”

I yank the covers off and try to get up, Jordan pushing me back down as I stand.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To Gabe.”

“No. I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not a good idea, Evelyn.”

“I feel fine! Gabe is the one who’s hurt!”

He doesn’t seem convinced to let me go.

“Please….at least let me try.”

“Fine, but if you pass out again I’m not going to carry you a— back to bed.”

I walk back to Gabe’s room. Marleen almost looks stoic.

I kneel by his bedside, holding his hand, and try to heal him.

Breathing in

And out

And visualizing all of the red fading away. It works for a few moments, but they quickly return.

I try again

And again

And again

They just keep coming back, those f—-ers!

“There’s no point.”

I turn to see Marleen with a tear down her face.

“Aloysius already tried….It didn’t work.” She tries not to choke on her words.

“No, there has to be a way. I healed Allie, I can heal Gabe!”

“Allie had protection from his powers. Ga….He didn’t.”

I leave the room. If I stayed, I wouldn’t be accountable for my actions.

I rush into the attic and hit the first thing I see. “F—-!” Let’s just say that the chair didn’t have a good time.

I rummage through the shelves, searching for something, anything to help him. The more I flip through the pages the angrier I get. I could’ve saved him! Why didn’t I grab him!

I crumble to the floor. My blood feels like it’s on fire. Boiling tears flow down, scorching my skin, falling down to the ground, leaving burn marks in the wood.

I curl up on the ground. How could the little boy I grew up with, who was kind, who befriended me, suffer like this? This isn’t fair! I should’ve protected him! I failed.

…………

-Marlene-

He’s lying in his bed, wincing every time he moves. I just want to take all his pain away. I’d deal with it for the rest of my life if I had to just to see him make it through the night.

My little brother’s in pain and all I can do is sit here and watch. What kind of F—-ery is this?

This is bu———!

Marcus has been coming in occasionally, trying to talk to me. I don’t feel like it, not now, not when Ga….he’s lying there, dying.

I’m so weak, I can’t even say his name! What the hell!

Jordan doesn’t try to talk to me. He’s just there.

I know that they’re all there, but I feel so alone. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

…………

Every time I close my eyes, I’m shaken awake but images of him. He’s been so still for the past hour, his breathing shallower.

I feel my walls cracking. I’m trying to be strong, strong for him. I’m supposed to be the strong one.

I lean over to him and grab his hand.

“Ga….” breathe, you got this, “Gabey….I love you. You were my first family. You got me through so much and I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I’m trying to stay strong for you, but I don’t know how to do that without you.”

My heart aches. I know what I have to do.

“Gabey….if you can’t hold on….it’s ok. If you let go, I’ll support you and if you stay, I’ll be here when you wake up. Don’t hold back just for me, that’s not fair to you. I love you.”

I squeeze his hand and I receive a light squeeze back. I look up to his face. For the first time in what feels like forever, he seems like he’s not in pain. I kiss his forehead, move the hair plastered to his forehead and tuck him in.

…………

Somehow, I slept through most of the night. It’s just before sunrise. I wipe my tear-soaked cheeks. I don’t even have to check. I know he’s gone; I feel it.

I cover Gabe’s face with the blanket I tucked him in last night.

I want to stay next to him, but part of me knows that I’ll lose control of myself if I do. Passing through the threshold, I see Jordan and Marcus leaning on each other by the door. I’m glad Jordie found someone to love him.

Jordan….he’s the only brother I have now. I feel so guilty for not telling him. Is it selfish to ask him to be a brother? After everything I’ve done?

I ruffle his hair a bit. I want….no, I need to be a better sister to him. I can’t lose him too.

Walking down stairs, I see Evelyn already sitting down, her eyes bloodshot, drinking coffee. I don’t know how she can stand the taste. I make myself a cup of tea and sit beside her.

Silent understanding passes between us.