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"i can't believe you agreed to marry me. big mistake, you know, 'cause now we're really stuck together forever."
"what if we get a divorce?"
"that's out of the question. why would anyone divorce me, the greatest thing to have ever walked this planet? that'd be super dumb of you."
"you're super dumb."
"uno reverse card, stupid ugly."
"here i was thinking that you were finally going to stop calling me that."
"i'm going to keep calling you that until we die."
"i hate you."
"shut up, stupid ugly."
"i'm glad to see you two are getting along so well!" leorio piped in, plopping down in the bar stool next to y/n. he took a swing from her beer and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, leaning over to give kurapika a wide grin. "this is the best wedding i've ever been to. the fact that you made us wear halloween costumes instead of fancy clothes? fucking incredible. the venue? definitely doesn't fit with the theme, but it's amazing. who's the guy who lives here? cholo or something?"
the venue was the ballroom in chrollo's mansion since he'd offered it up (free of charge) once he found out she was getting married. y/n and kurapika were both okay with it because it was absolutely beautiful; gigantic, for starters, stretching out for what looked like the size of a small field, so it had more than enough room for all their guests. the crystalized chandeliers attached to the ceiling were quite the sight to see and the peachy colors splashed throughout the room were breathtaking. y/n found it sort of ironic that getting tipsy in this very place was the reason she decided to unblock kurapika's number and that that's where they were having their reception.
"chrollo," corrected y/n. "his name is chrollo, but you were close enough. are you drunk?"
leorio waved his hand in dismissal and rolled his eyes, almost dropping the beer bottle in the process. "pft, no." they both gave him a pointed look. "okay, maybe a little. i think i might've swallowed the fake fangs i had on my teeth."
kurapika stood up in a panic. "what the fuck, leorio?"
y/n snatched the bottle out of his hand and stood up as well. "way to go, doctor dumbass! stupid ugly, what do we do? should i stick my finger in his mouth so he throws them up?"
"your acrylics are going to cut the back of his throat, so no."
the drunk dracula just sat there with an unwavering expression of euphoria. his eyes were teary and kurapika and y/n shot each other worried looks. "i'm just so happy pika got a good girl," he sobbed, wiping the nonexistent tears off his face. he grabbed y/n's hands in his and looked her dead in the eyes. "treat him well."
"of course, of course. now, about those fangs—"
"oi!" she heard killua shout.
y/n let out a groan. "please tell me he's sober," she pleaded.
