You Never Left

Chapter One

I wake up to the smell of peroxide and cleanliness. I refuse to open my eyes because I know exactly where I am and it freaks me out.

I cannot remember what happened or why I would be here. Everything is a blur and there is a sharp pain shooting through my skull. When I try to move, I am paralyzed with pain; tears leak out of my tightly shut eyes.t
I hear a door creaking and stop trying to move. "She still isn't awake, Doctor. Is Erin going to be alright?!" Mum's voice is frantic.

"She should be waking up shortly, Mrs. Caspen. She is still very weak and needs her rest; we'll come back later and check on her," the doctor states. "For right now though, let's discuss what we are going to do with Penelope." The door clicks shut and I slowly let my eyes open.

What is wrong with Quinn? I mentally start to panic and fight to sit up. The machine set up beside me starts to blare a horrendous siren. Doctors start rushing in along with my mum.

Within seconds, she is by my side, "Erin, darling, are you okay? You had me so worried! What happened, Sweetheart?!"

"Mrs. Caspen, please give her some room. She just woke up, things will still be fuzzy for a few moments. Let her collect her thoughts," the doctor, whose name tag reads Halloway, tested. He helped her up and escorted her out of the room, the whole way she looks over her shoulder at me. I manage a faint, faux smile and put a thumb up, reassuring her that I'm fine.

Dr. Halloway enters the room again and quietly closes the door. He walks to my side, messes with the machine I'm hooked up to and looks down at me, "How are you feeling Erin? Are you dizzy. . . in pain. . . confused?" I nod my head and try to speak, but only a faint noise escapes my mouth sounding like a dying cat. "Let me go get you a glass of water and we can try those questions again," he says as he walks towards the door.

Once again, I am alone. I try racking my brain for an explanation of the night before. I remember the party, the fight with Cameron, the storming out of the house, but after that everything goes blank. I am stuck in a loop inside of my mind as I faintly hear the metal click of the door.

"Erin. Erin? Erin, did you remember something?" I slowly look up, dazed, at Dr. Halloway who seems concerned. In that very instant, tears swell up and overfill my eyes. I can't stop the waterworks. "Shh, Erin, you are alright. Tell me what has you so bothered," he sits next to me on his stool. I'm hyperventilating by this point.

I struggle to say that I need my mum and instead it comes out as, "Eh mee mu um." I don't even know why I'm so upset. What I do know is that my headache has spun into a ginormous migraine. The lights are blinding me, I can't hear the rhythm of the machine beside me, my face is heating up, and I feel like I'm going to spew at any moment. I shut my eyes, but nothing changes.

Then, just as I am about to open my eyes and try to control my sobbing, a scene starts playing against my lids. I see two lights coming straight at me, a horn blows loud and proud, and Quinn starts screaming. I feel the wheel turn sharply in my hand and my headlights illuminate a telephone pole. Everything goes black and I cannot help but to unleash the loudest blood curdling scream I can muster up.

Mum comes rushing into the room. She wraps herself around me as if she is shielding me from my nightmares. I grab at her furiously, trying to bury myself in her hug. She coos at me, calming me by rubbing my back and pulling me into her embrace just a little bit further. "What is it, Baby? What's wrong? Did you remember something?" anguish fills her voice. I nod my head fast, sobbing harder than before. I am scared. I have no idea how Mum will react knowing that we had been at a huge rager the night before. "Tell me what you remember, Erin Bear," Mum nudges me. She always calls me Erin Bear because she says that I am as strong as a grizzly. I do not see how this can be classified as one of those strong moments of my life.

Nonetheless, I pull away from her hug to take a gulp of water and prepare myself to accept what had happened. "I - I don't remember the whole thing, but. . ." I start in on the events that I could remember. Mum's mouth drops open and her face goes a dark shade of red, anger. I recoil when I finish telling them the collection of memories, "What. . . what happened to. . . Quinn, Mum?" My voice is quivering and fades on my last word. Mum's face melts into somberness. She just shakes her head, tears flying everywhere. "Mum, tell me what's wrong with my sister!" I yell, angered. My face is boiling and hot tears race down my cheeks as I think of the worst scenarios.

She won't speak so I look to the doctor for my answer. Dr. Halloway looks to the floor as he gives me the bad news, "Your sister, Penelope-"

"Quinn," I say staring him down, "her name is Quinn."

"Uh, yes. . . um. . . Quinn is in a coma," Dr. Halloway quietly states as he lifts his eyes to meet mine. I am in shock. My face is flushed and I feel like I am going to faint.

Quinn, in a coma? How could this happen to my baby sister, my best friend, the one who I shared everything with? I faintly hear Mum hiccuping, but not enough to ask if she is okay. I am too busy trying to find the will to live and the courage to ask if they are speaking the truth. There is absolutely no way that this is true. My little sister is not dead. And that is when it happens. . . The bubbly laughter escapes my mouth.

I try to compress it, but nothing helps. I cannot stop laughing. Mom looks at me incredulously, but that just makes me laugh harder. "Why are you laughing at that Erin Elizabeth Caspen?! Your little sister is in a severe coma and they aren't sure if she'll ever wake up!" Mum is screaming at me. I stop laughing and start crying again, wanting something or someone to punch. I want to inflict pain on the person who hurt my little sister. I want to inflict pain on myself. . .