my closest enemy // trump x biden

1

hello. my name is donald trump and i am the president of the united states. i am 74 years old and i am depressed. my wife melania has been caught with another man,, obama. when i learned this news i immediately banned black people in the white house. i mean, it's the white house, not the black house. when melania left me she took barron away. i was heartbroken when i learned she moved in with obama. barron has friends now,, and an instagram with 25k followers. he's a democrat and he has a boyfriend named jack (aka shaat lord).
the 2020 election is coming up and my main enemy is joe biden. he is a 77 year old democrat who is kinda hot ngl. no homo tho. today i'm going to a debate with him and i need to look good. not for him of course, but i'm going to be on live television.
i go through my closet, searching for the best tuxedo i have. it's a black tux with golden trim, my pants are the same gold as the trim and my shoes are dark leather. i comb my small bit of blonde hair to the side, and spray some orange paint on the fading spots of my face. i then don the clothes, checking myself out in the mirror.
i then do my daily prayer,, praying that i do good on this debate . i then go downstairs and greet my sl- i mean butler. i demand he make me a 5 course breakfast complete with liquified gold as my drink. i also down 2 bottles of vodka to calm my nerves.
i haven't seen biden since our last debate ,, almost six months ago. i wanted to make a good impression on not just him, but the world. i know my supporters will love me no matter what, even when my child sex ring got exposed. i didn't get arrested because i pawned it off on obama's wife ,, michelle. that must be the reason he went after MY wife. i'm so disgusted.
i hop into my fancy limo and ride to the debate place ,, which is ellen's studio. my bodyguards flank me as i strut through the gated entrance, flipping the little hair i have less and grinning at my brainw- loyal fans. i finally reach her front door, and ellen waves at me. i scowl at her because she is a homo and i HATE homos. my bodyguards take me to my seat for the debate, and i settle in, chatting with them. i mostly talk about how my child trafficking ring disguised as a containment camp for illegal immigrants (I.C.E) ,, is going well.

then, HE enters.