Black [1]

Chapter 11

"I promise I didn't kill James and Lily Potter," he whispers to me, but I can't exactly do anything but nod for the moment, not trusting my voice. He pulls away, but only to put his hands on my cheeks, letting his eyes run over my face like mine run over his, taking in every detail. "Let me take a look at you."

Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I don't see a resemblance. But now, looking closer, I see the slant of our nose is the same, and our thin lips, eye shape. I've never noticed in from the photos. "Just like your mother," he murmurs, sounding amazed and upset and content and so many conflicting emotions all at the same time. "You look beautiful."

"And you look awful," I shake my head with a small, sad laugh, taking note of his sunken cheeks, his waxy skin, his long, matted hair. I reach up, gently touching his face, and he looks so different from the photographs I have. Then again, he's been in Azkaban for twelve years. Twelve years feels so unbearably long. Almost all my life. Then my expression hardens, but only slightly. I need to know first. Before anything else, I need an explanation. "What happened? That night, twelve years ago?"

He sighs, glancing at the ground, and I duck my head slightly to catch his gaze. He manages to summon a small smile, and even though I've suffered for the last few years, I can't even begin to compare it to him. "I didn't kill them," he says again, and even though he might be saying that to me to convince his daughter, I know he's telling the truth.

His voice is thick with emotion, and I can finally say that I identify Sirius Black as that man in the diary I've read. "I was the Secret Keeper. I was the only one who knew where James and Lily Potter were going to move with their son, but things had changed by then. Our friendship, the four of us, was crumbling. I thought... I thought Remus was a spy for Voldemort and would tell him it was me, and so I passed the Secret Keeper to Peter."

"Peter Pettigrew?" I gasp, knowing that apparently he's one of the people Sirius killed, leaving just a finger behind. The story always seemed a bit strange to me. Why leave anything behind? "Your friend?"

"You know him?" he glances up at me, surprised.

My cheeks colour a little at that as I admit, "I've read your diary. He was your friend. You, James, Remus and Peter were the Marauders: Wormtail, Padfoot, Moony and Prongs. I have your map." I pull it out of my pocket, taking my wand and muttering, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." The ink starts to appear on it, and he can't stop himself from smiling. "The twins had it. I mean the Weasley twins, Fred and George. They stole it from Filch's office. If only they knew it was you guys, huh?"

Then I realise something, looking up at my father. He fought in the First Wizarding War, so he knows just how bad Voldemort is. "You said his name," I spy. I say it, too, but after everything, I didn't expect him to. The other adults don't.

"I don't fear him," Sirius tells me, shaking his head, and something sad crosses over his face. In fact, not even sad. I can't explain it. "You don't fear some power-hungry man who killed your best friend for all the wrong reasons." Then he seems to remember he was telling the story of what happened. "Pettigrew betrayed the Potters and gave their location to Voldemort. No one else knew I wasn't the Secret Keeper, so I got the blame.

"I was with you when I heard. You were asleep, but that's when I got the news. I stopped by Ellis and Maribel's house and left you there – your mother's best friends –" He adds, not sure if I know who they are, but that sends a pang in my chest at the painful reminder, "Before going over to the cottage. I offered to take Harry, but Hagrid refused on Dumbledore's orders. I gave him my flying motorcycle then, and went after Peter.

"He faked his death and killed the muggles on that street. I got the blame. I was thrown into Azkaban, when all I wanted was to protect them." But then he seems to realise something, turning back to look at me, then asks quietly, "You didn't think I actually killed them, though, did you?"