There are so many things I could have started off with. So many things I want to say. So many insecurities. Maybe this here is just my way to vent off all the frustrations I have building up inside me. Sometimes I feel as if don't have a right to say how or what I feel. To release the pain, the resentment, the sadness, the anger. That I don't deserve to do so because there have been others in worse positions than me.
And yet, I know this isn't true. I know that anyone, everyone, has the right to express themselves. To cry. To be angry. To be frustrated. To just let it all out. And I often tell the people I care about exactly what I'm writing in this page. And yet, I can't help but feel differently when it comes to myself.
I don't give myself the same courtesy I give to others. I really wish I did. Maybe things wouldn't have come to the point where I find I myself writing this on a whim at 1:20 in the morning. Maybe things would've been different if I opened up a little more. Left myself vulnerable to someone I care about. I wonder if that makes me a hypocrite.
Well, no use in contemplating the what-ifs now, I guess. And who knows, maybe this will help alleviate some of the burden I'm forcing myself to carry. Some sort of theraputic exercise for my mental well-being.
So I guess that just about wraps up how we got to this point. All that's really left is...
Welcome to:
What I Hate About Me
