When You Weren't Watching

Hesitation

It wasn't that anything about her changed. Her smile was the same, her hair stayed in the same long braid everyday, her stance was the same as well, nothing had changed. Yet, whenever he looked at her, he felt... awe. She still smiled at him like she did when she was fourteen, like she did everyone, except him.

Whenever she was around him her eyes were slightly brighter, her smile a tad wider. What a lucky bastard. To get to hug her every morning, to see her eyes brighten because of him. Yet, he doesn't even like her. How can he be around her everyday and not want to drop on his knees and kiss the ground beneath her feet? How can he not take her hand and press a kiss to the back of it and whisper, "I love you."?

To be that close to her and not want her is something beyond him. Maybe she had a flaw. Maybe she didn't shower, or brush her teeth, or maybe she...

Kaz gripped his cane until his knuckles turned white. Jesper had no right to take Inej's beauty all for himself only to not want her. Deep down he knew that Inej and Jesper never had, and would never have feelings for each other. But Kaz still felt this hatred towards Jesper, because his best friend was the girl Kaz never noticed.

It wasn't anything spontaneous, nor was it slow. It just happened. She walked into the room one day and everything just felt different.

He sat in his office that night, hoping and praying to saints he did not believe in, that she would show up to his window. That she would land softly outside and push open the windows, that were always open for her, and hope she would just come in and just be.

Yet, she never did. Never the next night or the night before. Only ever for business. The rule he made was, come in when there was a job for her, come back when it was finished.

They would usually have friendly conversation, nod heads and leave. Now he notices the hesitation in her eyes, in the way she walks. It's so obvious, was she always so hesitate when she left his office?

The next job she comes from, he tries to really watch for hesitation again. After a quick conversation of how she watched the man back to his penthouse only to find that he in fact was giving information to other gangs did she kill him.

He watched as sadness flooded her eyes. It was a job she hated, yet the only one she had.

He asked her what she thought about the job. She opened her mouth to reply, only to close it again.

Hesitation.

She replied with the only answer he thought she would give. "I pray for forgiveness from Sankata Alina every night because of it."

He never understood her belief system. He never believed in any. Yet seeing her broken from this job he forced her into, he found himself praying to her saints again.

She have a curt nod and left the office. He tried to stop her, but he hesitated. He thought that maybe letting her go would be the best option, but everyone knew he never let go of what he wanted.

Everyone also knew he never hesitated.

A/N
Hold up... this isn't Lunar Chronicles
I feel like whenever I write I support a lot of my story on dialogue, now there's nothing wrong with that, but I can never really figure out how to get a story moving without my heavy use of dialogue. So I'm using this story to help me focus more on everything else in writing and to use as little dialogue as possible.