Help me find (BoyxBoy edition)

6

starsandfairies

Hi! I'm looking for a specific book, and was wondering if you could help.

It begins in a BDSM club, where the protagonist kneels at his dominant's feet. They are out with friends; the other dominant treats his submissive much better than the protagonist's dominant does. The two dominants are chatting, and their submissives go out into the club. The other dominant reveals to that the protagonist is thinking about not renwing his contact, which upsets the protagonist's dominant. The other dominant asks whether or not he loves the protagonist, and I specifically remember the dominant saying that it was a difficult question, "given our lifestyle." 

Out in the club, the protagonist is very insecure about his body in comparison with the other submissive (this had something to do with being pale-skinned vs tanned.) The protagonist is accosted by a dominant, and when the protagonist's own dominant arrives, he's very angry at the protagonist for flirting, or something similar to that. Their submissive friend tries to defend the protagonist, but the dominant drags the protagonist out of the club and into his car.

At this point, the POV switches from the protagonist to the dominant. It is revealed that the protagonist lives with the dominant for the weekend, although he goes the classes on weekdays. Also, I recall very specifically that the apartment was described as having cold tile.

The following morning, the dominant punishes the protagonist very harshly (involving a paddle and vinegar, although if I recall correctly the vinegar ended up not being used). The dominant realizes his punishment went overboard, as he didn't warm up the submissive with his hand. Some time later that day, the dominant speaks to the protagonist regarding their contract (specifically the protagonist's wish to not renew it). This causes the protagonist to have a panic attack, and he flees to the bathroom, where he takes a pill. The dominant pounds on the door.

I believe the story was discontinued after that, and I can only pray it wasn't deleted. Please comment below if you have any idea where this story could be, or if you have any more information regarding the names of the characters or the title of the story. (It's particularly frustrating that I can remember small details such as the dominant's apartment having tile flooring, but not anything substantial!) 

In addition, if anyone has any recs for stories similar to the one I'm looking for, please comment them! I'm not hankering after the kinky stuff specifically (although that's nice too ;)), but in particular I'm looking for angsty stories that dive into the complexities of a BDSM relationship.

 Thanks so much!