I Know Your Secret-Death Note

A Sudden Realization

       L knew that things were going to be awkward. That Ori would avoid him because she was embarrassed or uncomfortable. That he wouldn't be able to discuss anything until she was ready. But he couldn't shake the feeling that he had done something wrong. The feeling of screwing up a good thing weighed heavily on his mind, but there was something else too. Maybe it was how he had done it, but his confession felt wrong. Almost... too soon. He wanted to discuss it with Ori, but she wasn't going to want to talk to him anytime soon.

       Dammit. He thought, hunched over on his chair, typing absentmindedly at his computer. I knew I should've kept my mouth shut until after we found Kira. He put his hands on his knees and stared at the screen.

How do you know if you're in love with someone?
1. You're happy and just a little bit nervous.

       Nervous? Why would L be nervous around Ori?

       When you're in love, you're genuinely a happier person. It's like you're on a natural high and the thought of spending time with your partner excites you.

       L wouldn't say he felt excited when he was with Ori. He felt more content, though. She relaxed him when she talked like an actual detective.

2. Everything feels new and exciting.
When you're in love, you're excited to do things you've done a million times before, just with your partner this time.

       Having someone almost as smart as him working on a case with him was refreshing, but he wouldn't call it exciting.

3. Your relationship feels easy.

       L felt like he got along with Ori fairly quickly. It helped that she was so easy to get sling with, despite her ever-changing moods. Though, maybe his recent confession had complicated things just a little bit.

       Being with your partner isn't hard work. You don't have to struggle to find time to spend with your partner because you literally want to.

       L liked spending time with Ori, but it felt like it was because everyone else was either a suspect, or too boring, or... Matsuda.

4. This person is on your mind literally all the time.
       When you're in love, your partner is always on the back of your mind. You might have a sudden thought to call them because you haven't talked in a few hours.

       No, she wasn't on his mind all the time. He had to be as focused on the Kira Case as much as possible. When he did think about Ori, it felt more like concern. He wanted to make sure she was at the top of her game when she was looking for Kira.

5. You get just a little jealous.
       Jealousy is natural, but becomes dangerous when you start obsessing over what your partner's doing.

       L had read enough. And for the first time in his life, he felt like an utter fool. He had thought he was in love with Ori simply because Watari had said it, and L trusted him. 

       He dropped his head into his hands and massaged his forehead. He couldn't wait until she already to talk. This had to be set aside as soon as possible. 

       "Watari, please come in here." His voice felt far away and quiet in his ears, but Watari walked in nonetheless. 

       "Yes, L? What is it?" The old man grew quiet when he saw the bright computer screen. "I was wondering when you would do it."

       "So it was all a lie?" L looked up to see Watari placing a cheesecake in front of him. 

       "I knew you weren't in love with her; you haven't known her long enough to truly trust her. But I could see how conflicted you were. You've never had a true friend before, so I figured you would immediately jump to thinking you loved her, but you were just being a concerned friend."

       "I should've figured that out sooner. I'm supposed to be a detective."

      "I like to think that I was rather convincing.  Another lesson about caring for someone: you become blind to their faults and lies. You only want to see the best in them." Watari laid a warn and gentle hand on L's head and lightly ruffled the hair. Despite what others thought, L did shower and brush his hair, it just stuck up weird when it dried. 

       "Here's some honest advice. No tricks. You might want to talk to Ori before things get too out of hand. It's already been a couple days; maybe she's calmed down."

       "I know, but we need to focus on the Second Kira too, things are getting out of hand. Can you have Ori come down here?"

       "Yes, sir." Without another word, he disappeared into the blackness of the room.

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       Ori was in her room watching Fist of the North Star. Aside from Raito, there were no suspects and Ori had looked over everything available, so there was nothing else to do. It didn't help that Matsuda and Aizawa didn't let her touch anything regarding Kira 2. Plus, Watari had specifically told her to stay in her room until he came to get her, or whatever that means. So, there she was, bored out of her mind, watching a show she didn't actually like, but it filled the empty air. Then the knock at her door came. It was probably Watari, so Ori went over to answer. When she opened the door, it was Watari, but there was something off about him. He was smiling knowingly in a way that made Ori nervous. 

       "Ori, if you could come down for a moment." He moved from the doorway and down the hall, giving Ori no time to argue. She should just close her door and go back to the show she didn't care about. She knew L would be downstairs, and after his sudden confession, Ori was furious. Not with L, but with herself. Despite Doc's relentless teasing, she really didn't see L as anything more than a friend and boss, but she felt like it was her fault that she didn't return his feelings.

       She felt guilty. The guilt settled at the bottom of her stomach, quickly covered by the quiet hallway. The lack of sound made Ori's chest feel empty and her ears itch. Quiet was becoming something she hated after Vivian's death. The empty air put her on edge, it made her aware of every little sound around her. It was one of the few things that surfaced. The lack of noise, knives, and people walking behind her made her uncomfortable. Ori had to sleep with her pressed against either the wall or bed. Doc said that she had the symptoms of PTSD, but it was too early to properly diagnose anything. 

       Walking down the long hallway, Ori pressed her hand to her back for some kind of security. She was OK. It was something she was struggling with, but working on, nonetheless. L had been a type of security blanket for her, someone to distract her with a sort of white noise, but after his sudden confession, that blanket didn't feel so secure anymore. No- it was more like a heated blanket on a hot day. 

       Before Ori knew it, she and Watari were standing in the lobby, L a ways in front of them, completely unaware of their presence. 

       "He wants to talk to you, but I promise that it's nothing horrible," Watari whispered in her ear, then vanished. Ori swallowed heavily, then began walking closer to the hunched form in the chair.

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       Oop! Shit's happening. I promise I'll get back to the Kira stuff, but this crap is okay too. Hope y'all enjoyed. I'll be posting biweekly from now on, so there'll be at least some kind of structure and method to this madness.
       Until next time...
       Doragon-Chan is Out!
       "Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others'?"
        -MLK Jr.