Not his place

Dean doesn't know he's in love with Cas.

By now Sam had it all figured out, because despite the longing gazes and "casual" touches that last far too long to be anything of the kind, Dean still somehow hasn't put two and two together. Which was fine, ish. Sam knew that it wasn't something he could just bring up over dinner, but he also knew that Dean would never talk about it willingly; because as obvious as it was to the rest of the world that Cas was hopelessly in love with Dean, it seemed that Dean still hasn't quite come to terms with the fact that he loves Cas.

Sam had Cas pegged pretty quickly after they first met. There was always something... off, about the angel and how he acted whenever he was around either of the brothers. Sam knew all of that, but it took Cas almost admitting it for him to put the pieces together,"I rebelled, and I did it all for you." Words that were shouted when Cas's guard was down, words that were directed only to Dean. That was when it had all begun to make sense to Sam, all of Cas's peculiar behavior, and the more time that passed the more certain Sam became that Cas had it bad for his brother. It was in the way that Cas ignored Sam's prayers while miraculously always answering Dean's- even despite his confessed other duties to heaven, he would still always come when Dean called. Sam may have made a joke or two about it, but otherwise he stayed silent. After all, it wasn't his place.

Cas was always easy for Sam to read. Dean however- Dean was a different story; because although Sam knew Dean better than anybody else, Dean had always been good at hiding what he felt.

But even the best constructed masks slip sometimes.

With Dean it was a little bit more subtle, but Sam saw it nonetheless. He saw it in the twinge of jealousy that crossed his face the few times Cas got laid (which Sam couldn't help but find amusing), and in the times that Dean called Cas for something he could have easily done himself, or in the times that Sam caught Dean examining the bright red handprint that lingered on his shoulder, a physical reminder of what Cas had done for him. But there were other things too, the way that Dean would stare at Cas when he thought he wasn't looking, the way he always seemed to be a little bit different when the angel was gone. It had taken Cas's first death for Sam to realize that not only was Cas mad about Dean, it seemed that the feelings were more than reciprocated. Dean grieved when he thought Cas was dead, he mourned more intensely than he had when their own father had died, sometimes not even getting out of bed for days. Dean had carried Castiel's trench coat in the back of the the Impala for months. Somehow, someway, Dean had brought Cas back to himself and something inexplicably changed between them, there was this tension so strong it was nearly physical that lingered between them. Sam saw it, the way they gravitated towards one another, but he didn't say anything about it. After all, it wasn't his place.

When Dean came back from Purgatory the first time without Cas he was a mess. He was certain that he had done something wrong, that he had abandoned Castiel in that wasteland. Sam saw a drive in his eyes that he hadn't seen for a very long time. Dean searched endlessly for a way to get back there, to get Castiel out. There were days when Sam could only watch as Dean tore himself apart over not doing enough to get Cas back, but what else could they have done? It was clear to Sam that there had been a shift in their friendship, something that made it run deeper, fuller. When they did eventually get Cas back it was like Sam wasn't even in the room. Cas only had eyes for Dean even in the midst of their argument. Sam didn't know how Dean could be so blind as to see what Cas had done as anything other than an act of devotion, but he didn't dare speak his thoughts aloud, after all, it wasn't his place.

It kept on like this for years and nothing changed except for the restrained longing that was so intense he could practically feel it somehow managed to grow stronger, having and then losing Jack had somehow only solidified it. Sam loved Jack the way he imagined it would be like to love a son, but Jack had always seemed to think of Cas- and therefore by extension Dean- as his parents. When Sam saw them together, watching proudly as as Jack practiced moving darts to the bulls-eye with his powers, Cas's hand lingering on Dean's shoulder, Sam had merely smiled and walked away. After all, it wasn't his place.

Yes, Sam had figured out a long time ago that Dean was in love with Castiel, but what he hadn't figured out yet was if Dean was ever going to do something about it. He hoped for both Cas's and Dean's sake one of them would buck up and finally admit it, but he highly doubted that it would actually happen. So when Chuck had shown him the future that would happen without God in it, Sam had been surprised to see Dean and Cas sitting together, knees knocking against each other as Dean sprawled with a beer in one hand and the other arm draped loosely over Castiel's shoulders. Sam noticed the date on the clock Chuck had given him: one month. One month after they killed God it looked like they would finally figure things out. In that time Sam saw how happy they were, all of them, but he also saw the pain that came after. He saw how Dean crumbled in on himself after locking Cas in the Ma'laak box, and it only got worse from there. Sam couldn't do it. He couldn't let that timeline come to pass.

When Dean and Cas came back from purgatory the second time it was obvious that something had happened there that made them a little less afraid to reach out to each other. They were resting in the bunker, Dean was drinking a beer as Cas was pouring over some old historic text when Cas noticed something in the book and sat down next to Dean to point it out. Sam saw how their knees knocked against each other and didn't move apart, how Dean's hands lingered on Cas's shoulders while he examined the book in Cas's hands. Sam smiled, finished off his beer, and left the room to give them some privacy. He didn't say anything, after all, it wasn't his place.

Authors Note:

Sooo this is the first thing I've written in a few months and it wasn't even for the same fandom that my big WIP is in. Oh well, I only feel mildly guilty for my readers who got the notification that I published something new and expected an update. If anyone spotted a grammar error don't be afraid to point it out to me so that I can change it. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this and if you did please don't hesitate to leave a comment, I love hearing from my readers.